A dream killer can be just about anyone and often times the most unlikely person; it could be your friend, a family member, a colleague or even your significant other.
We, unfortunately, live in a dog-eat- dog world that promotes competition and doesn’t encourage the celebration of other people’s success and achievements enough.
The urban dictionary defines a hater as a person that simply can’t be happy for another person’s success; so rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person because of their desire to bring him/her down a notch.
People often feel threatened by those who differ from them, possess things they desire or indirectly cause them to reflect on their own lives, so rather than face their own inadequacies or insecurities and make the necessary changes that would allow them to create more satisfactory lives for themselves; haters often choose to take the easy way out and find pleasure in pointing out other people’s shortcomings and flaws in an effort to elevate and feel better themselves.
If you have haters of your own, you are most likely doing or possess something that sets you apart from the crowd. We live in an extremely narcissistic world that makes it difficult for most of us to embrace the fact that we’ll all encounter people that are more successful, educated, attractive or more of anything else than ourselves at some point in our lives and as a result allow any self-dissatisfaction we experience to unfortunately, cause us to hate on others instead of celebrating or trying to learn from them.
If you haven’t encountered these agents of gloom and doom on your journey towards making things happen, consider yourself extremely lucky. A naysayer is a rather sneaky dream-killer because at first glance it appears as though he or she has our best interests at heart when they attempt to dissuade us from pursuing our goals or dreams because they believe that it’s in our best interest to not take some risks and assume that in “warning” us about the dangers and pitfalls of whatever it is we want to do, they are somehow protecting us from inevitable failures or disappointments.
Naysayers are extremely negative and often see barriers and problems in just about everything – even where they virtually don’t exist. They often project their own limiting beliefs and insecurities onto others and view most things as impossible and insurmountable. A naysayer will often be the first people to tell you why something can’t be done and shouldn’t be done and will adamantly support his or her beliefs with stories of others who attempted and failed at what you are trying to do.
Naysayers are often the biggest dream killers of all because they, themselves have stopped dreaming altogether and therefore have absolutely no qualms trying to get others to join their bandwagon of unbelief.
Critics really have a way of getting under our skin because of their fault-finding and nitpicking ways that often tear us down, make us question ourselves and our abilities, and magnify any doubts or insecurities we possess. Critics often take a shot at our confidence due to their own insecurities and often because the possibility of our success makes them feel threatened or challenged in some way.
They are often the people that take it upon themselves to “rate” our accomplishments and delight in pointing out to us and others what we could have done better or differently in our endeavors, in spite of having failed to do anything significant or of substance themselves. Critics always assume that they can do everything better than everyone else and have no reservations pointing this fact out to anyone willing to listen to their nonsense.
I am sure you know that there are some people in life who thrive on trivializing and minimizing other people’s accomplishments and successes because they feel threatened, challenged, intimidated by or envious of them. I bet you’ve personally encountered one or two in your own life. You know who I am talking about, the people that always seem to discount your goals and dreams, have a habit of downplaying your abilities and talents and skills, and more than often than not, tell you what you aren’t capable of as though they were in charge of your destiny or have a hand in writing YOUR story.
- Try to downplay your abilities and success – pass it off as a fluke, assume someone helped you
- Always looking for comeuppance
- Won’t celebrate your success – competition
- Talk about or compare you to others who have done the same thing or better
The jealous & envious
Evaluate your relationships and determine if there are people in your circle that can be defined as dream killers, if there are, limit your interaction with them and don’t allow them to have any influence over you or in your life. Surround yourself instead with people who build you up, believe in you and support your dreams as opposed to those who knowingly enjoy bringing you down, constantly undermine your abilities and belittle your efforts.