1. You know the struggle of being in a long distance relationship. With your fridge.
2. Live, laugh, lasagna. This is your Tinder profile one liner.
3. You overuse the following hashtags: #PizzaOverPeople #NoShame #WhyImSingle
4. Some people want their lovers to serenade John legend’s All Of Me to them. You secretly want food to do so. Them brownies love you for all your curves and imperfections.
5. Whenever there is a 2 for 1 special on frozen wings, you are convinced the world is hell bent in turning you single and cat friendly. That’s ok though because running to the store to hoard boxes of wings before it’s all gone is your idea of a romantic prospect.
6. You’ve considered dating but like, take out is easier.
7. You never really get over expiry dates on food packaging. Sometimes you latch on even when it ends, despite the well-intentioned warnings of your friends and loved ones.
8. You belt out T.Swift’s ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ everytime you finish a carton of ice cream. In fact, this has become your personal anthem.
9. You have food vendors on speed dial. The delivery guy never fails to bring you buckets of hot sauce. This is the perfect illustration of unrequited love.
10. You wish your life were a movie. None of that Katherine Heigl nonsense. I’m talkin’ Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs.
11. You only truly understand the sad sentiments of #ForeverAlone when your fridge is empty and you and your stomach are alone to fend for yourselves.
12. Chicken noodle is a warm, never-ending embrace. The kind that melts away your stress and promises you calm feelings. The intimacy is legit.
13. Simba’s got it wrong. The circle of life is actually pizza.
14. You think it may be time to get serious with Siri. She knows where all the good eats are.