It’s not that it’s easy to let you go. It’s that I’ve been hurt so many times before. I self-sabotaged and you didn’t fight for me. So I walked away. You made me feel like no one else has. You called me names I’ve never heard before; Instead of “hot,” I was “beautiful.”I know when a man cares and wants me, and you did. You didn’t acknowledge my imperfections. You saw me and reacted how anyone should react to someone they care about.
I know it’s not a fairytale. I knew it was destined to end because I never felt like I deserved you. I felt like I needed to keep my guard up, because in the end, I knew I wasn’t the one for you. You have so much going for you, so many goals and dreams. I know I can’t be a distraction. I meant what I said when I told you I’d wait for you. But I know that’s stupid of me because when you accomplish everything, you’re going to want to move forward and start something new.
I don’t despise you for having goals and dreams. I want you to be happy and accomplish everything you hope for. But I’m not going to lie and say it’s not going to hurt when you find someone new. I know I’m a little selfish for wishing I was good enough to convince you to reach for the stars with me. I know someday you’ll find someone you want to grow with. Someday you’ll find someone to share your dreams with.
Thank you for showing me that I deserve to be treated like I want to be. Thank you for being an experience that I needed. I needed to know that I deserve love and happiness. That despite my insecurities and baggage, I deserve to be cared for. I let my guard down and I was myself with you, even though I felt nervous and anxious. I guess that it wasn’t enough. You said I was perfect, but I know you didn’t mean that. Because if I was perfect, then you wouldn’t want to imagine me with anyone else. Or imagine yourself without me.
Your intentions were pure, I know.
But in the end we were both hurt.
You will always be my Mr. Almost.