As a young girl, you are taught that you must grow up to be a wife and a mother. You are taught that your life isn’t yours. You are to believe that you are here on this beautiful earth to close your mouth and to dedicate your life to others and not yourself.
Twenty-three years later, I found myself searching for love in all the wrong places.
I found myself on the brink of truth. The sink or swim stage. Would I let my latest heartache plague my life or would I finally invest that precious time into myself? It was the million dollar question I had asked a million times.
It is hard enough seeing all your friends and family getting engaged and starting another chapter in their life. But I almost have to stop myself. Yes, there are those whom life is a little easier toward, and there are women like me, who have to learn a few more lessons in order to get to that point. But where did I want to go?
I realized I didn’t want to chase this enigma called “love” from another. I wanted it from me. I wanted it all. I wanted to buy myself the gifts that I always wanted from my past significant other. I wanted to tell myself I was worthy and beautiful every day. I wanted to take myself out on romantic dates and get all dolled up just for the heck of it.
I wanted to give back to myself, because all this time I had been giving to others. I had neglected my priorities for the needs and wants of others. I wanted to pick me for a change. I wanted to be picky with my company and strong with my boundaries. I wanted to be my protector, my champion and my knight in shiny armour.
I suddenly became my own significant other. My epic love.
Instead of waiting to be saved, I chose me for change.