When You Are ‘Just Friends’ With Someone You Want To Date

Unsplash / Annette Sousa
Unsplash / Annette Sousa

Let’s face it, the dating world is cruel. People write you off quickly for the tiniest things. Maybe your laugh is too loud or maybe you just didn’t have that spark.

I know you know what it feels like. We’ve all been there at one point or another.

But sometimes it hurts when you aren’t even given a chance to prove your worth, so you say those three words:

“Let’s be friends.”

And you hope that this friendship will last and it will allow this person to stay in your life for just a little bit longer. Maybe if you show him how good you are at spreading your love, his heart will open for you.

This boy likes you too — at least that’s what you tell yourself. You convince yourself that the early morning texts and flirty smiles are foreshadowing the love that’s been brewing underneath the surface.

But at the end of the day, he’s not going to choose you. He’s going to choose her.

I can’t tell you what it is that he likes about her, what he sees in her that he doesn’t see in you. I can’t tell you whether she’s the one for him. The only thing I can tell you is that I know what’s it’s like to be a second option.

It’s tough. It’s heartbreaking to realize that no matter how “cool” he says you are, you will never be enough for him.

You will never be his first choice, no matter how many times he texts and calls you. In the end, friendships like that are meaningless. What matters is whether he will choose you first when given the chance.

So, if he’s just going to put you on the shelf to save you for later, you might as well let him go.

It’s hard, trust me I know. I’ve been there countless times.

The problem with humans is that, while we crave intimacy and love, we continue to look for it in the wrong places. We leave our hearts open, fall for people who are not right for us, and then crash from the devastating effects of reality.

In his reality, you aren’t good enough, but that’s not the truth.

You are the one that creates your own reality. In your reality, you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. The trick is to walk away from the pain that rolls around in your stomach late at night while you’re hoping that he’ll text you back.

No one can love you the way that you love yourself. So, when your insecurities bubble up in your chest and rush through your veins, tell yourself that you are in fact worth it.

The day will come when you are no longer just another option, but a first choice. Because if he isn’t willing to see your self-worth, he is not worthy of your attention. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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