I’m Sorry To Say This But He Is Never Going To Change

Unsplash, Seth Doyle
Unsplash, Seth Doyle

Hey there. Yeah. You. That person holding onto hope.

I want to talk about something that many people have experienced at some point in their lives. Or maybe it’s something you’re going through right now.

You’re in some kind of relationship with someone, and everything would be so perfect — if only a few adjustments were made. If only they paid a little more attention to you. Maybe if they stopped taking to their ex-girlfriends or maybe if they showed you they cared, then everything would be so different.

You stay with this person, because it’s hard to let go.

Saying goodbye would hurt way too much, so you have long-winded conversations hoping that they will lead somewhere and your person will change. After dozens of these conversations, you think it’s possible something has clicked in their head, and then a short time later, something happens and you’re right back where you started.

Here’s the thing. It is possible for someone to change. It is possible for someone to realize their mistakes and become that person you want them to be.

The problem? They won’t do it while they are with you. The problems will always exist, and they will never be pushed to make changes, because you haven’t shown them what consequences their actions have.

Yes, they have to deal with your nagging and crying every now and then, but in the end, they still have you. You’re still there putting up with what you know is wrong, and what you don’t deserve.

Unfortunately, we might have to be the person that pushes them to change, so in the end, they can be happy with someone else. Sucks, doesn’t it? We have to deal with all this shit so they can be so good to another person. But eventually, we will find a good person that has been changed by someone else.

So what do you do? Well, you have to do what you feel is right. But know that staying with someone and hoping they will change will never make you feel relieved. You will always be stressed, you will always be hopeful, and you will never have any guarantees.

That’s why you have to show your person that they don’t get to have you if they don’t deserve you. Don’t compromise yourself and what you want in your life. Feel good about your choices and know that there is someone out there that will make you feel loved, without having to go through the struggle of changing them.

You are strong and you can do this. Don’t wait around. Thought Catalog Logo Mark 

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