Often times, we look for validation in others. We accept aspects of individuals that are unacceptable. We take more than we should allow ourselves to take and we continue toxic levels in relationships that we shouldn’t continue.
We look for ways in which to fix someone, in hopes that they will be like the image we’ve envisioned all along. We accept their apologies and their promises, to never hurt us again, we forgive them, we cry a little but we still forgive them. We’ve painted this fantasy in our heads that one day, they’ll “get it”, that we will wake up one day and they will love and care for us in the way in which we deserve, in the way in which we want.
We break up and get back together again. We spend more time wondering, than building… ourselves up, ourselves out of that unhealthiness. We excuse them, defend them and hurt others in order to protect them, we continue going back to that image in our heads, that image we have so perfectly sculpted in our minds.
We look for others to validate us, to make us feel something, whether it’s for another person to fill an empty void or to simply be a bed filler, we fail ourselves when we choose to allow others to validate us, to complete us, to be our world, to be our universe. When they leave, they leave you empty, wondering what went wrong, what we could have kept to ourselves in order to keep them around.
Whether or not we admit it to ourselves, that is what we think we are worthy of, that is what we think we deserve… deep down in our soul, we know that we are tired, that we’ve had enough. Because we think we are incapable of moving forward because we believe nothing better lies outside of that comfort, we stay, we settle.
If you settle, they will settle with you. They have no reason to let you go, you give them a sense of self-worth, you give them a rush, but not the one that you get when you first were in love. It only ends at the end of your comfort zone.