This Time Around, I’m Done With You

Meiying Ng
Meiying Ng

This year I’m done with you. I’m done sitting around waiting for you to realise that I was always there by your side whenever you needed me. I’m done being available to you anytime you called or texted. I’m done waiting for you to realise that I was worth it, that I was worth at least some kind of effort. 

Sometimes we meet the perfect person at the wrong time. Or sometimes the person that we thought was perfect turned out to be a complete fuckboy. A fuckboy disguised as a successful 33 year old, who had good old fashioned family values, a good family background and a good strong faith. 

Sometimes ugly people are packaged in a nice wrapping. But when you finally peel off that beautiful wrapping, you see for yourself the true ugly side of that person. 

I thought you were different. You made me believe that you were different. That you were a rare gentlemen in this crazy chaotic world and that you only date women seriously if you see a future together. You led me on for 2 whole years. Pulling away each time we got closer, saying hurtful things whenever you decided you wanted to be the one who hurt me so you won’t get hurt. Telling me that you were afraid of commitment but you want to continue dating. 

I told you straight up that I wasn’t having any of your bullshit and that if and when you’re done dealing with all your bullshit, then you can come find me. Which you did, time and time again. Pushing me away but then pulling me back in the instant I’m about to walk away. 

I never stood a chance in your life because according to you, I was never worthy of you. I wasn’t the typical girl you would usually date, your type would be more Chinese looking, skinny and smart. All things that I am never going to be. And for that I didn’t deserve a chance or any form of respect from you. 

You should have let me go and you shouldn’t have come back into my life when I made myself very clear to you. You pulled me back in because you are a coward. 

You never had the balls to let me go maybe because deep down you knew you’d regret it. You’d regret losing the one person who never gave up hope, the one person who knew that the good guy she knew and loved was in there somewhere. 

But this time I’m done. You are not worth my time, tears and heartache. Someday you will find someone you truly love, your perfect girl and when you find her, I hope to God that she will make you go through the same emotional shit that you put me through.

I do not wish you well, in fact I wish you’d go to hell. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I write because otherwise it gets too disorganized in my head.

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