Women Have This Spot That Itches All The Time

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Why bras? I understand gravity and all that jazz, but who made it socially unacceptable to go out without a bra on. I’m not a feminist in any sense, I’m all for tradition gender roles and taking care of my man. But damn, why do I have to wear a bra?

Its 5pm, I’m coming home from a long day at work and everything is fine until I feel that spot under my bra strap start to itch. On the train and I can’t get to it. I squirm and try to reach it discreetly, but no matter how much I search and scratch I can’t get to it. WHERE IS IT COMING FROM!!! I get home and immediately unhook this monster contraption and go to town on my back. Every girl knows that feeling, the feeling of relief, the feeling of unhooking her bra at the end of the day and just melting away. It’s a better feeling than having your bra taken off during sex, even when the guy is good at it. I look forward to taking my bra off, more than taking off that pair of heels at the end of the night.

Why can’t I just skip the bra and go straight to a shirt. Men don’t have to wear cups out in public. Why are we socially conditioned to wear a bra in public? Granted, even I judge a woman if she doesn’t have a bra on and it’s painfully obvious to everyone around her. And yet I can imagine how freeing (and horribly frightening) it is to go out without a bra on.

I wonder if it’s a capitalist influence. The market for bras and for bra specialists is always growing, booming actually. Every girl has at the very least 5 bras. And then we have those special lacey bras, the partying bras, the little black dress bra, the workout bras. And they aren’t cheap either. A good bra will cost a girl anywhere from $30 to $100 or more! Multiply that by at least 5! And then go through the horror of having to buy a new bra. From the horrible dressing room lights to the incomprehensible sizes to the bra specialist who always wants to give you a free measurement.

Earlier this year, new research showed that 75 to 85% of us are wearing the wrong bra size! That’s 3 in every 4 women that are wearing the wrong bra size. It can’t possibly be all of us doing it wrong?! These companies need to take a serious look at themselves and fix this. Maybe that’ll fix the itching problem! I don’t remember being taught how to find your bra size in high school sex ed. It’s always been trial and error in fitting rooms, and your mom handing you more sizes over the door. So how do we change this? How do we wear the right bra size? How do we find a bra size that isn’t going to leave us itching for relief?

I have no idea. But we could start by not wearing them. Not to be feminist or to stand up for our rights and independence, but just to stop the damn itching. A feminist might argue that men created bras to keep women trapped, to keep control our independence. I would disagree – gravity isn’t pretty on our boobs and bras help us fight the inevitable effects of aging. But someone please stop the itching. Please stop telling us we are wearing the wrong bra size. Or tell us how to wear the right bra size – in a way that doesn’t require us to wrap ourselves in a tape measure.

Until then, itch away.