Being a girl one thing is true, a best friend is someone that you can count on for absolutely anything. At least that is what you hope. No matter the distance, no matter the circumstance, when you need them, they are there. Maybe it is a selfish way to think but it is also how we are taught. Growing up nearly every television show there is a girl and there is her best friend. They can conquer the world together. What do you do when it stops though? If you are in a relationship and have a break up, you can run to your best friend. Who do you run to when you and your best friend break up?
I am currently 24 and I like to think that I have a very close group of friends that I can count on. They are all awesome, strong, and fierce women who will be there to help me when I call. A few are a bit better at it than others, but no matter what they will listen when I drunk dial them and ask why McDreamy had to be killed off of “Grey’s Anatomy”. What you do when someone stops picking up though? You wonder if there was something you had done to piss them off, or shrug it off because maybe they are sick of your drunk late night calls.
Going through a best friend break up is unlike anything else in the world. You want to continue to be their friend even though they have kind of failed you as a friend, you don’t care. Being a woman in your late teens or your 20’s having friends is one of the most important things in the world. Just ask Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl, Brooke and Peyton from One Tree Hill, or the trifecta of Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe from Friends. Strong female friendships are formed in your early 20’s but unfortunately they are also broken in your 20’s.
So how do you deal with it? How can you get past someone who you once referred to as your “soul sister”? The friend who would come to your family parties because you’re always single and somehow having her with you would help deflect those “when are you getting married” questions.
Sit back and read because I am about to help you get over those best friend break up blues. On another note, these rules may have you get over a romantic break up too. So read these either way you’d like.
1. Always have more than one friend, that is very important. Never put all your eggs in one basket. Even though you and Becky have been close for so long chance are you are going to click with another person. I know, no one will ever understand you like Beck but don’t give up on all female friendships because you think you have found the best one ever.
2. Ask if you did anything wrong. We all know women can be catty but when someone steps up and actually asks you if something is wrong, rather than being passive towards you, it is nice. Maybe they will tell you what’s wrong or maybe they will just say “sorry super busy (insert kiss face emoji)”. Either way you put yourself out there and tried.
3. Don’t look at their social media. Like most break ups, when you look at their social media you’ll see that they went out with a different group of girls and jealousy will strike. You will sit there while drinking a glass, or a bottle, of wine scoffing about how they don’t look too busy to you.
4. Cry it out. Its totally okay to cry about you and Becky not being as close as you once were. Strong lady friendships are based off of emotion and being emotionally connected with someone is a very serious feeling. So cry it out girl, I won’t judge.
5. Don’t text them. You reached you, you tried to make a date to go see ‘Trainwreck’ because you two were positive it was written about your lives but again she was super busy. If someone wants to hang out with you, they will, that simple.
6. Get Drunk. Even you aren’t super close with that party girl who is constantly changing her profile picture from her rolling on Molly are Bonnaroo to her getting drunk with Wiz Khalifa’s band makes, hang out with her. She will make sure you have a great time and by the end of the night, after a few shots, you will be her new best friend dancing it out.
7. Don’t spill secrets that the two of you once had. Yes, you caught her texting her ex-boyfriend while her current one was standing right next to her but she also knows that you have a brief experimental stage in college. If you spill, she will too, so remember that.
8. Don’t completely shut the door on them. That is my final work of advice. Sometimes people get too wrapped up in their own lives. Whether they are getting married or in a committed relationship, or maybe they no longer wat to get drunk at a drive bar with you and they are waiting for you to get out of that stage too. There is a chance that this friend will realize how shitty they have been and each out to you. No one is saying you have to be besties again, but maybe a glass of wine while she shows off her engagement ring and you show her pictures from your birthday, which she missed because she was so busy, will help ease the sting.
Now listen, friendship break ups are hard, harder than most people think but once you accept that this happened it makes life easier. People grow apart, people grow up and get married, people grow at different paces. You may be the single friend and your best friend gets married which means she no longer awnts to get wasted, she wants to sit around with other boring married people. Your best friend might move to California but you’re a basic East Coast bitch who doesn’t understand the traffic on the 401 and will never use the term hella.
Losing a best friend is one of the toughest things that a young lady, or a man (probably), can go through. Especially when that person is a text away but is “too busy” to respond.
Follow those steps that I listened above though and maybe, just maybe it will help you move on just a little bit. Although when you do check her Instagram and see some new bitch named Sarah taking your place it is totally fine to be a little irrationally angry.