It’s weird how people who complain that they’re inherently unlovable seem so self-aware, but never seem to realize how annoying their mopey asses are to everyone around them.
Feeling unlovable doesn’t just bum you out. It’s a virus that infects so many relationships and causes so many people to act out in the most damaging ways: infidelity, abuse, neediness, being one of those fucking people who has to corect others all the time (if you felt the need to fix my typo there, you failed the test).
We behave in terrible ways like this in an effort to push people away and we also put up with this behavior that is meant to push us away, and in both cases, we often do it because we feel like we don’t deserve real love.
So it sucks for you, it’s worse for the person you’re with, and it’s insufferable for everyone who has to listen to your shit, because we all know that no matter who says it, “I’m unlovable,” is never accurate.
It’s not like when someone is like, “My jokes aren’t funny,” or “I really need to lose weight,” or “I need to get surgery on my entire face,” where you tell them it’s not true, but inside you’re thinking, ”But how can I nicely imply that it is true so that she does something about it, and I can stop looking at her weird eye thing?”
I can’t think of a single, solitary human I know that is unlovable.
I mean how little would you have to think of another human being to think that? We don’t. That’s the kind of extreme disgust we save for ourselves.
But I know what you’re thinking. “But I really am unlovable! I mean look at my love handles, and my job prospects, and the way I say ‘hummus!’ Who could ever love me?”
Okay fair, but also, shut up. Because of course, OF COURSE you are worthy of being loved. And don’t think I’m being nice to you or something.
You deserve love not because you’re a ‘special woman’ or an ‘amazing man,’ but because you’re a human being. Every single person alive is worthy of love.
I mean Hitler had a wife for God’s sake.
Now granted, Hitler was loved by many from a distance as dictators tend to be, but consider what a relationship with him would be like. Think of trying to have your own life in an age without cell phones and where Hitler is your husband. I mean this bitch saw into the soul of one of the bottom five humans since our thumbs became opposable. And lest you think she was just into him for his power, keep in mind she tandem-suicided with him. It’s like Romeo and Juliet if Romeo killed 6 million Jews.
Eva Hitler should give us all hope. Despite everything he did, that fucking guy could find a Fraulein to marry and then munch on some cyanide with and you’re afraid you’re unlovable, why, because you weigh a little too much? Because your breath stinks? Because like one in ten of your jokes lands? (I have experience with that one. Trust me. It’s not a deal-breaker.)
It’s not just dictators and famous assholes. Think of all of the pieces of shit that surround you that are in loving relationships. You know who I’m talking about. There’s abusive assholes, airheaded idiots, that girl in the office everyone hates who Instagrams pictures of her babies, and engagement rings and you’re thinking, “How the fuck does anyone love that idiot? And how am I single?”
Well because that’s how this works.
Everyone is worthy. Everyone can find someone who will appreciate them and all of their bullshit and that includes you.
To put it simply: The real thing is worth it, and your fears are stupid.
Be more courageous in your decisions. Don’t accept being alone if you don’t want to be, and don’t accept a garbage version of love, since you now know, and must accept that you deserve the real thing. You’re out of excuses.