It’s normal to post romantic photos and status updates when you are in a relationship. You want to be open with the people you care about. We understand the impulse. After all, your significant other is a big part of your life. However, how are you going to strike a balance between keeping your family and friends in the loop on social media while not disrespecting the relationship and your significant other at the same time?
There’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing, and it all boils down to the longevity or health of the relationship. Overposting to the point of bragging has its pitfalls. In fact, a team of researchers, who published their study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, explains that couples who regularly post about their relationship online, or what they called people with high “relationship visibility,” may be hiding relationship insecurity. They argued that people who need reassurance and validation about their relationship tend to post more on social media.
Whether you realize it or not, your updates send subtle signs to your followers. So before you click that post button, think twice about what you’re putting out there.
1. You post about your partner’s financial situation
Your social media followers don’t need to know how much your partner is earning annually, the exact numbers when it comes to student loan debt, or the amount of investment they just made. Same goes if your partner got fired or quit their current job due to a dispute. It’s important to know that your significant other should be the one to control who they feel must hear their financial and employment status.
2. You post about your partner’s behavior
Sharing about your partner’s habit of nail biting, snorting when laughing, or having unhealthy obsession with a specific food? What you may think is funny or cute could be upsetting for your partner if you share it with other people. Don’t look for an outlet to talk about certain mannerisms, quirks, or pet peeves. Revealing your significant other’s behavior could be a violation of their trust.
3. You post specifics about their mental or physical health
Your partner’s physical or mental health problems, whether they are about porn addiction, depression, AIDS, infertility or anything else, are something to not be ashamed of. However, this is a sensitive subject and it’s ultimately your partner’s choice whether to share it or not.
Not everyone is comfortable talking about health struggles. Perhaps you want to help your partner, but it’s worth pausing before divulging, especially without your significant other’s consent. Even if professional help is needed, it’s best not to assume that your partner would be fine with you sharing private details. You could break your significant other’s trust.
4. You post about small relationship issues
You may be tempted to tell your family and friends on Facebook about possible cheating, destructive assumptions, or certain relationship problems. Resist the urge to post and think about the consequences of sharing this sensitive information to your social media friends.
“There’s plenty to share you don’t need to put all your private relationship issues out there for everyone,” says Stuart Fensterheim in his article published in Thrive Global. “You know all your friends will have comments and opinions, and do you really need that?”
Oversharing the ups and downs in your relationship could make your friends biased against your significant other. You may choose to discuss some struggles with a relationship coach or therapist at your discretion.
5. You post about your active sex life
Whether it’s posting a screenshot of you and your partner text flirting or sharing opinions about their sexual performance, no one wants to know what’s happening between the sheets. You may be genuinely happy with your relationship, but you don’t have to prove it to your peers. Your sex life must stay between you and your significant other. Besides, this kind of information is too personal and could put the relationship in jeopardy. If you want to discuss your partner’s kinks, then seek professional advice. No relationship is perfect, and you don’t have to feel insecure about what you have.
It’s no secret that Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media channels have changed the way we handle intimate relationships, and it’s not always for the better. While your friends show support to you and your partner, that doesn’t mean everyone in your newsfeed should be updated. Sharing isn’t all bad, but it’s nice to have small things that you and your partner can reminisce about when you are away from each other. Let’s face it, relationships need to have private moments to survive and to keep it vibrant.