To those who have been in that state of recovery, I’m certain its a shared opinion that people who are trying to help by joking about it often make things worse for you in that time, and that a lot of people are often very insensitive to the way you are feeling and treat it like it was an easy thing to get over. With that in mind, I have compiled a list of things I heard when coming out of anorexia which really hurt me or pissed me off.
“I could never be anorexic, food tastes way too good.”
Wow, look at you. You worked out food tastes nice. How did I ever look over that fact? Oh wait, that’s right, I was a little busy detesting myself.
“Just like, eat a pie.”
What a brilliant idea! You should be a scientist, with a solution like that! I can see the headlines now “Local woman discovers cure to eating disorder is to simply eat a pie”
“I wish I could be that skinny!”
Yeah? Do you really? You wish you could be hospitalised? Or faint every time you stand up too quickly? Or any distance of over 200m makes you so tired you have to lie down for a nap? Alright then, lets sign you up.
“You must have saved so much money!”
Yes, that was my motive behind all this, to beat the recession. Nothing else, I just felt like saving up and thought to myself, “whats the quickest way to save cash? I know! Not eating.” Girl please, bye.
“Do you have any good weight loss tips?”
Yes, I have plenty. Am I going to share them with you and take myself back to that head space? No. Wanna know why? Because it fucking hurts to think about.
“So like, how did you do it? I’m obviously not going to do it, I just want to know.”
Back to point five, I’m not going to give you tips on how to emaciate yourself.
“Do you think you’re fat now then? Because you totally aren’t, I wish I could have your body!”
Fuck off. Just fucking fuck off. I don’t want to talk about the way I view myself now, its an excruciating thing to talk about and I do not want to waste my time trying to convince you that I like myself.
“Why didn’t you just exercise?”
Gee, what a great idea. Maybe because I didn’t actually have control over what I was doing to myself, and I didn’t stop and think, “I know what I’m doing is insanely unhealthy, so I’d better lose weight in the healthiest way possible, I know, I’ll just walk the dog seventy times a day”.
“There are people in Africa who are starving who don’t choose it, why would you do that to yourself?”
Stop fucking referencing Africa, for a start. People are starving everywhere in the world, this isn’t new information. Again, I didn’t have control over what I was doing, I didn’t stop and think of the fucking child. Besides, what the fuck was I going to do? Send them the sandwich I was going to make for lunch in a courier bag? Please.
“Its good to see you’ve got some meat on your bones now!”
Shut up. Shut up shut up. Just shut up. I know I have gained weight. Don’t you dare imply I am fat, do you know how difficult it is to see the weight pile on and not run straight to the bathroom to purge that shit up? Do you have any idea how much effort it takes just to hold down a meal? Don’t you dare insinuate that I am anywhere near fat.