A Thank You Note To The Girls Who Ruined High School For Me

Thank you for following me around for almost 2 years and calling me every single disgusting name you could think of. 

I’d never have learned that it doesn’t matter what people think of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. No matter how many times someone calls you a slut, it only becomes true when you look in the mirror and see a slut. Names only go as far as you let them. In life I will be called worse, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters is what I see in myself.

Thank you for making me terrified to walk through the glass doors. 

I’d never have learned that fear cannot run my life. There will be things much larger than high school bullies that are going to stare at me in the face over the course of my life and I will have no choice but to open the doors anyway and face them head on. The only way to tackle things you are afraid of is to show them you aren’t scared and that they won’t scare you away.

Thank you for making me not want to get out of bed in the morning. 

I’d never have learned to be positive. Every person is given two choices at the start of each day. Get out of bed and see what the day brings or lie there and hide from what may be a bad day. Maybe it’s a sunny day, maybe it’s a storm, but I will never know if I stay in my bed. I learned that if I decide today will be bad, it’s going to be bad. There is opportunity for good in bad in everything and it all starts with how you look at it.

Thank you for calling me fat, ugly, and disgusting. 

I’d never have learned that no matter how much makeup, hair products, and name brand clothing you put on, you are only as pretty as the person you are on the inside. If had a choice between looking “pretty” while having the ability to treat people the way you treated me or I could look like me with my personality… I’d pick “ugly” Every. Single. Time.

Thank you for making me hit rock bottom. 

I’d never have learned that I have the best family that anyone could ask for. It is sad that it took something so negative and scary to show me that I had such a support system, but I learned that not everyone is so lucky. I have the best people in the world to catch me when I fall. No matter how big the problem and no matter how big of a mess I am in.  That is something that has followed me since and will continue to do so.

Thank you for walking all over me for 2 years. 

I’d never have learned that I have a right to speak for myself; that my voice matters. I’d never have learned to be confident in what I believe, what I want, and the choices that I make.

Thank you for throwing things at me in the hallway and at prom. 

I’d never have learned how to hold my head up high and not let other people’s actions influence my life or stop me from showing up and having fun.

Most of all, Thank you for being you. 

I’d never have gained the heart that I have now. I feel for people. I see people hurt and I want to help. If you were not you; I wouldn’t be me. And I have news for you, I love the “me” I am now. I love that I can say, “I have been there” or “I understand”. You cannot do that .You will walk through life thinking you are just fine the way you are, and that’s perfectly okay with me. Because I don’t want you hurt, I don’t want you to go through what I did. I could never treat someone the way you treated me. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.        Not. Even. You.