Many wine-soaked ladies’ nights have been spent analyzing why some dude hasn’t called. It’s a question that can plague us women for weeks before we finally get over it and move on already. But rarely do we consider the torment we put poor guys through when we don’t call them. Maybe they called after a first date and we never got back to them, or maybe we met them at a party or a bar and gave them our numbers, never to return their first (or second or third) attempts to reach us. For all the men — and lady-loving’ women — reading this and wondering she hasn’t called YOU back yet, here are 30 reasons:
1. You let her pay the whole tab.
2. She didn’t like the way you kissed her.
3. You talked too much about your ex.
4. You talked too much about your job.
5. She thought your jokes were stupid.
6. You insulted her line of work.
7. You had very bad breath.
8. You were a bad tipper.
9. She doesn’t want to date a dad.
10. You made a sexist, racist or homophobic remark.
11. You were too aggressive.
12. She caught you checking out other women.
13. You looked too much like her brother.
14. You looked too much like her ex.
15. She got back together with her ex.
16. You live in Jersey/too far away.
17. You’re a vegetarian.
18. She only gave you her number to be polite.
19. She decided to start a sex sabbatical.
20. You wore white pants.
21. Your divorce isn’t finalized yet.
22. Her divorce isn’t finalized yet.
23. She found your blog.
24. You didn’t have any toilet paper in your apartment.
25. You had sex with her roommate one time.
26. You told her you aren’t looking for anything serious (she is).
27. You quoted Nicolas Cage one too many times.
28. You’re a Republican.
29. You don’t vote.
30. You have a rat tail.