Comedian Sam Kinison once said that the way out of homelessness was to either “get a job or fuck someone that has a job,” and that appears to be the modus operandi of Joe, a 26-year-old homeless New York man who—according to his interview with Elite Daily—uses his seduction skills as a means of survival. In the video he can be seen sleeping on sidewalks, shoplifting hair gel to maintain a presentable appearance, and picking up women outside of bars.
He claims that if he “lays good pipe” he can expect a roof over his head for a few days at a time and that he capitalizes on his conquests by making use of their shower facilities. Despite his marked boorishness and obvious substance-abuse problems, there is much to admire about him. Any guy who can fuck his way out of poverty—however inconsistently—must have the determination and guile that is denied to most.
Of course, if there’s one group that could find something objectionable about this touching underdog story, it’s the squawking banshees over at Jezebel. Ideologically incapable of experiencing any genuine sympathy for this panhandling Lothario, they instead use their coverage of the piece to write Joe off as a “dudebro.”
They also take issue with the idea that some people look more homeless than others, because it “only feeds into the notion that poor or homeless people are only allowed be gifted with our sympathy and aid if they appear and act downtrodden enough to satiate our humanitarian whims.” I don’t know what these chattering clams have been smoking, nor do I understand what it is that they’re suggesting. Maybe they’d prefer a state of affairs in which immaculately dressed businessmen are stopped on the way to work and asked if they need any change and where filthy women draped in rags are simply written off as being on the cusp of fashion, but in reality—or what’s left of it—some people look gay, some people look straight, and some people look homeless.
You can’t bank on assumptions one hundred percent of the time, but the pattern-observing skills that we as a species have developed over thousands of years aren’t something that any amount of feminist eye-rolling can eliminate, and thank the Mother Earth Goddess for that.
I admire Joe. Like most people, the prospect of homelessness terrifies me to my very core. I didn’t have the kind of turbulence in my upbringing that allows a person to thrive without the safety of a fixed abode. I wouldn’t have the faintest idea about how to survive under similar circumstances. A close friend of mine was in and out of foster homes throughout his youth and went through a lengthy period of homelessness a few years back, but he had the resolve to get back on his feet. Me? I’d shit my pants. I’d probably start goosing cops just to get myself arrested and locked up in a warm cell with three square meals to look forward to.
The last thing on my mind would be picking up women, and the fact that this guy can charm his way out of rough sleeping on a regular basis should make any guy who isn’t utilizing his own resources effectively seriously question what excuse they’re giving themselves for not making the most out of life.
Male feminists such as David Futrelle can sneer at the concept of alpha maleness until they’re as blue in the face as they are in the balls, but Joe’s predicament raises both a useful and healthy reminder that for all their social deconstruction, it is ultimately society which has far more power to change and destroy us than we have the power to destroy society. As detestable as some may find the idea of a man who not only views sex as a commodity but also knows how to get it, being artful at seduction is infinitely more valuable a survival tool than being well versed in gender studies. I found the wolf at my door I know which skill I’d rather have.