You’re Not Special: Fire Fast Food Strikers


I am going to call it like I see it: this fast food workers strike is bullshit. With a national unemployment rate near six percent, plenty of people are searching for work. And that six percent does not even account for the people who have quit looking for a job (but, then again, I do not count them either, because they are lazy entitlement grubbing pieces of waste). Despite this, these gainfully employed workers have the audacity to walk off the job because they want to make more money an hour? To flip burgers and run registers, tasks that supports a billion dollar industry? I don’t think so.

You make at least $7.25 an hour. That’s enough to buy like 40 McNuggets, which can feed a family for an entire week. I am sorry that you cannot eat filet mignon every night, but guess what? Life is hard sometimes!

If you want $15 an hour, move to the People’s Republic of Seattle.

As a young lower-middle class male earning a low five figure salary, I simply can’t relate to these people and I feel that they are way off base. And I think that much of America agrees with me. How could the majority of this country side with a bunch of lazy, working class schmoes who want to make a living wage?

You see, the average household income in this country is right about $51,000 according to the 2012 Census, which is exactly why a distinct proportion of the population will join me in lashing out at the strikers today. Because we feel more kinship and share more common cause with a bunch of faceless millionaires than we do with the single mothers, students, bachelors, and other individuals struggling to make ends meat. It’s not like fast food workers provide a service that we really value in America, a country with a 34.9 percent adult obesity rate where 44 percent of people consume fast food at least once a week according to a 2013 Gallup poll.

I say fire them all. There are plenty of indentured servants willing employees to take their place.

If you want a better job, then get a better job. It is as simple as that. Every single person making over minimum wage in this country had to work a terrible, minimum wage job while they went through college. They worked crazy hours and still managed to graduate. If they had to struggle, then so do you. It is the American Way: If it didn’t come easy for me, it can’t come easy for you. And if you want some help, go fuck yourself.

No one can help you get a leg up. Because if we help you, then we are denying you the satisfaction of making a smarmy twitter post in 15 years when you are successful and another group of freeloaders decides to strike.

So, don’t give me your sob story about how hard data says socio-economic conditions and poor education in urban areas give some a distinct disadvantage blah blah blah. If you want a better life, simply enroll in the United States’ readily accessible and very affordable higher education system and, voila, become wealthy.

I don’t have the time or patience to sympathize with these people looking for a handout. I am much too busy supporting these poor fast food executives, who are only making like $1 million a year by the way, through their own struggles. I mean, seriously, the Chick-fil-A guys have to serve gay people now and that is much more pressing issue than how much money a burger flipper makes. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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