1. Visualize what you want but don’t try to relax.
Yes, you did read me correctly.
Many times people will tell you ‘ relax, relax, cool it, chill’ but this is advice that I personally find very challenging to follow. When I become agitated about something, I’m not able to relax at the swipe of my mental touchscreen. It doesn’t work. So I try to visualize the opposite of the nasty stuff that has happened to unsettle me in the first place. I close my eyes and truly for a few seconds (or a few minutes) believe in what I really want to happen. Most times, my anger just ebbs away. If this works for me, it might work for you as well.
2. Vent up your emotions through some physical activity and green therapy.
Volcanoes release their pent up heat and pressure by spewing up molten lava. For me, taking a walk in cool weather or playing some badminton works. If I feel angry, I just head out for a short brisk walk in an area with leafy trees, flowers or babbling brooks.
Trees don’t talk, they just sway peacefully to an invisible rhythm of their own making, surrounding any people around them with a shield of cool reassurance. Flowing water heals away negativity and flowers shine with luminous laughter, spreading their scented balm to calm you down. But the key is to be mentally present for that stroll. If you are walking but your mental gears are still churning over the problem or over someone else’s bad behavior, you will fail to observe your surroundings.
3. Accept people as they are and put on my hat of protection.
People come in all shades and stripes and everyone has their purpose in this world. I can get along well with the sweet folk but my learning is also to accept the bitter or negative ones as they are.
I’m in no place to judge their attitudes because I don’t know their back stories, so the best I can do is avoid them completely and if that is not possible, brush off what they say as not being healthy for my wellbeing. I just close my eyes and visualize my hat of protection, a vibrant golden blue color with a gel like shimmering quality to it. The moment I place it on my head, I’m protected from evil intent. So create your own hat of protection and use it to strengthen your mental resolve to face issues calmly and triumph.
4. Speak your mind as far as possible.
This is always a tough one to do because it makes life challenging and creates the risk of rubbing people the wrong way. So I’m not saying anyone should become tactless and start hurting others in the guise of blurting out what comes into their head at any given time. However, if I stick to my core values and ethics, it helps me in speaking up against the injustices and petty tyrannies and combating disrespect — leading to less inner frustration.
Anger is just a symptom — the causes are frustration and powerlessness that people face in their day-to-day life. If these are addressed appropriately, the symptom will abate.
5. Prepare a parachute of prior preparation.
Most of the time, we ignore issues till they boil up and escalate into life changing crises. We ignore bad behavior instead of confronting it, creating a cycle of uncontrolled anger or despair in our lives. Granted, some problems can pop up suddenly from a clear blue sky, but for many things we can create a parachute of possible solutions in advance. We can plan ahead or create realistic backup strategies to follow if the situation demands it.
The “Parachute of Prior Preparation” lifts us away from our doldrums, allows us to stay in better control of our lives and prevents impotent anger and helplessness. So it is always better to be ready with possible solutions to oncoming problems before they materialize into a thunderstorm.