Sorry Boys, But The ‘Friendzone’ Does Not Exist

friends jumping up
Jared Sluyter

I have heard men complain countless times about the amount of effort they have put into wooing a lady. How they bought her gifts, took her on expensive dates or spent an immeasurable amount of time trying to prove to her that he is the one she is looking for – Her Mr Right.

Only to be turned down as the woman has no romantic interest in him and considers him a friend. I have often heard men say: “women date the bad boys and all the good guys she complains not to be able to find are in the “Friendzone””

This is not an article to teach you how to get out of the so called friendzone, neither is it another article shaming women for leading men on and choosing to keep them around only as friends.

This is an article to tell you that if you EVER used the term friendzone you are a complete idiot and a chauvinist. Just because you bought a women flowers or have pursued her does not mean she owes you anything especially not love or a relationship.

I remember meeting a guy once who wanted nothing more than a relationship with me and truth is he was a real great guy and I’m sure he had the potential to be a great partner too but no matter what angle I looked at it from he was just not my type. We don’t choose what our type is or who we are attracted to. It just happens.

So this is where most guys would stop me and say be straight up from the beginning, why spend time with the person? Why lead them on? Why make them feel like there is a possibility of something happening? But you see sometimes it takes a while to realize that someone just isn’t for you. You don’t always meet someone and know right away that they are the one or it could never work.

Sometimes two people need to spend time getting to know each other first and sometimes while they do one of them falls in love and one doesn’t. You can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone whom you just don’t. Love doesn’t work that way.

So let me put it this way. If you are placed in the so called “friendzone,” the girl isn’t into bad boys or oblivious to how you feel. She simply just isn’t attracted to you in that way. She values you as a person thus offers you a hand of friendship. So be the good guy you claim to be and respect her decision. Not everyone you have feelings for will feel the same way and that’s life.

So put on your big boy panties and instead of being offended that she doesn’t feel the same, focus on being a good friend. TC mark

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