Dear Daddy Issues,
I just started dating someone. It’s super exciting and I really like him! The thing is, he recently started sexting me and I’m feeling the pressure to reciprocate but I don’t know what to say. I suck at this! Can you please help me out?? I’m afraid he’s going to think I’m boring if I don’t start sexting him back asap.

Dear Sugar Tits:

Sexting is definitely a skill that I do not possess. It amazes me that people can even do it with a straight face. I usually just focus on eating some mac and cheese and hand my phone to a bestie who sexts on my behalf since my idea of sexting is complaining about my period.

Still, I want to help you out. After much research on this subject (mostly through drunk texting boys), I’ve come up with 25 sexy one-liners that will guarantee you’re all he can think about. Send a few of these gems his way, and you’ll never be able to enter a church again because you’ll feel so fucking dirty. (You’re welcome)

1. I already miss choking on your massive cock.

2. I want you cumming on my tits right this second.

3. My fingers are so wet from playing with myself.

4. No one fucks me like you do.

5. I want you inside me so bad right now.

6. I’m naked in bed waiting for you. Cum over.

7. Lets go buy some new toys today and experiment.

8. This smoothie’s good but your cum is better.

9. I’m so wet just thinking about your hard cock.

10. I could sext you but I’d rather show you what I want to do to you.

11. Your dick is literally perfect.

12. You’ve turned me into such a dirty little whore.

13. I can’t stop thinking about you. Your cock drives me wild.

14. Your balls, my tongue, my place. Now.

15. Next time, tease me with the tip before you plunge it inside.

16. My mouth just asked if it can suck on your cock.

17. Have you ever had a wet dream about me? Be honest…I had one about you this morning.

18. My nipples are hard cuz I’m thinking about you.

19. I love making you cum.

20. I could never get tired of fucking you.

21. You’re the only guy who could make me cum that fast.

22. I can feel my pussy getting wetter as I type.

23. Don’t make me masturbate alone. Cum over and watch me.

24. I get so horny thinking of you choking me with your strong big arms while you’re inside of me.

25. I can’t stop thinking about how sexy you were the other night. When can I make you orgasm again?

After writing these sexts, I feel like I need to take a cold shower and wash my mouth out with soup, but I do hope they help! May the cock be with you, sugar tits!

This story originally appeared on DaddyIssuesLA.