Sure, having a BF is great because he buys you food. And sure, being alone is satisfying since you can fart in peace while binge watching Netflix on a Friday night. But what if I told you that you could do all of that with a ride or die bestie??
A ride or die BFF is someone you can go months without seeing, but when you finally reunite, it’s like nothing has changed. She’s the person you can’t catch up with over coffee without ending up piss drunk, missing a shoe, and you fucking love that about her!
Below are 17 reasons why everyone needs a ride or die bestie.
1. She’s not afraid to tell you the truth.
A true ride or die BFF is that one brutally honest friend who will tell you when you look like shit, when your outfit doesn’t match, when he’s just not that into you and it’s time to move on, when you’re being a cunt, or when you’ve had too much to drink… JK, you could never have too much to drink!
You can always count on her to be that asshole who gives you a reality check right when you need one the most.
2. She encourages and supports your hoe behavior.
A true ride or die BFF will support you no matter what! So if hoe is life, she’ll support you to get out there, get that dick, and be the best hoe you can be.
3. She hates your ex more than you hate him.
A true BFF will sit with you while you judge your ex’s disgusting new girlfriend who is obviously a total downgrade. She knows that you’re an amazing catch and she’s genuinely repulsed by anyone who doesn’t feel the same way. She hates your ex with every fiber of her being for not treating you like the trap queen you are.
4. You know you can always crash at her place when you don’t want to be alone.
When you’re feeling bleak and your world is upside down, you know you can count on your BFF. If you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to, she’s always there with a full fridge and a bottle of wine.
5. She pretends to be your lesbian lover when you’re not feeling DTF.
You go out to celebrate the independent woman you are—and then you get the bar receipt and realize that maybe you’re cool with not being so independent and having a boy buy you drinks instead. Unfortunately, once you find a guy to throw down his cc so you can get drunker without footing the bill, he turns out to be a total fuckboy you can’t escape. Just as you’re giving up hope and starting to accept that you might have to boyfriend him, your ride or die BFF comes to the rescue! She gropes you, touches you, licks your face, and tells you how much she’s missed you, smothering you until that leech of a dude finally gives up all hope and leaves.
6. She’s your partner in crime.
A true BFF doesn’t ask questions when you show up at her house with a shovel. She grabs a second shovel, no questions asked, and helps you bury the body.
A true ride or die BFF is not the one who bails you out of jail but the one who sits beside you in jail, laughing about how badly you both fucked up this time.
7. She hates everything with you.
Nothing bonds two people together faster than a common hate for the same person or object.
8. She takes bomb ass candid pictures of you.
You’re tired of posting selfies, even though they’re totally fire. You wish you had more friends who could take fake candids of you looking unbothered but still cute like all those fashion bloggers you stalk on Instagram.
Luckily, your BFF gets that! She takes as many pictures of you as she has to until there’s a single shot worth posting, and you do the same for her.
9. She’s there for you when you have a crush—enough said.
She sits there and listens to you obsess over the same dude over and over again for hours, days, months, and years because that’s what ride or die BFF’s do. She even helps you stalk his social media platforms. She knows what he had for lunch yesterday, and she can name everyone on his family tree as fast as you can.
When your crush finally acknowledges you, she’s there to read his texts and tell you how to respond. Eventually, when things don’t work out, you best believe she’ll be there to let you drone on and on about your failed relationship with a person you were never even in a relationship with to start because that’s what ride or die BFF’s fucking do.
10. You two can communicate with just eye contact.
Whether you need to be saved from that fuckboy hitting on you at the bar, or your crush just walked in, or you’re dying to go home, or you’re hating on some girl, or you’re holding back tears, or you need to take a shit, your ride or die BFF gets you and can sense exactly what you need…just by looking at your face.
11. She accepts you for the weirdo you are.
She knows all your darkest secrets, including all those moments you’re definitely not proud of. She’s stuck around through the good days, and the bad ones too.
She’s never judged you because she loves your psychotic ass. She would never dream of trading you for some basic sane normal BFF because having you around is way more fun.
12. She analyzes arguments for you and types up the response.
It’s no secret that you can’t trust girls since we take screenshots of everything and shamelessly share it all with each other. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that any arguments with bae, other friends, an ex, or that annoying coworker are 100% going to be reviewed and analyzed by your BFF. She’s the only one you can trust to give you advice on how to respond, and she’ll even type it all out so you don’t have to.
13. You have inside jokes no one else gets.
You two can be entertained no matter where you are, as long as you’ve got each other. You have so many inside jokes that being the third wheel to your friendship is worse than getting a root canal.
14. She’s there to get you through a bad breakup or a bad day.
We’ve all been there, sobbing over the boy who broke our heart—listening to sad music, refusing to get out of bed, and posting so much depressing shit that even the old middle school friend you no longer talk to but who follows you on facebook anyway starts to miss your ex.
A true ride or die BFF will slap you and tell to get the fuck over it. Then she’ll drag you out drinking with her til you’re so drunk you forget that fuckboy’s name.
15. You bring out the best in each other.
You’re both kind of lost causes. You both drink too much, date the wrong dudes, and never learn from your mistakes. But at least you’ve got each other. At this point you are fully aware that you’re both kinda fucked. It’s the blind leading the blind, but you wouldn’t have it any other way!
16. You’re getting emotional just thinking about your ride or die BFF after reading this.
17. Your heart skips a beat because you know your ride or die BFF feels the same way about you.
This post originally appeared on DaddyIssuesLA.