My First NC-17 Experience

It started back in the early 2000s. It was a hot summer, I was done with school and my friend Andrew and I were incredibly bored. Around 10:00am, we were lying around on couches, watching television, thinking aloud as to what we would do for fun that day.

After much debate about nothing, I eventually suggested a movie. “Sounds good,” Andrew replied. “What’s playing at the Ritz?”

You must understand that “the Ritz” was a theater a town over in Voorhees, New Jersey that was big and played a variety of art house and mainstream films. As cultured as we already were growing up in neighboring Cherry Hill, the Ritz provided access to some of the most talked about “indie flicks” of the time.

I grabbed a newspaper lying on the floor and thumbed through it until I came across the movie listings. “How about the new Matrix movie?” I asked. “Seen it,” he replied. This went on and on essentially until I came across a movie called The Dreamers. “Holy shit, dude. This movie is rated NC-17,” I cried out.

Andrew immediately sat up on the couch. “What? Are you serious? Like, Showgirls NC-17?”

“Yeah. There’s a showing at 2:35pm. Let’s go.”

And so, around 2:00pm, we drove over to the Ritz and purchased two tickets to The Dreamers. We proudly showed our IDs to the cashier, bought some popcorn and soda and took our seats. The theater was mostly empty by the time the movie started. I figured it was due to the fact that it was the middle of the day in the middle of the week.

Eventually, the movie started and Andrew and I said something along the lines of “Oh shit, oh shit. This is really gonna happen,” during the previews.

The film started off in Paris with an American exchange student exploring the city and watching movies or as the French call them, films. It’s an entertaining movie for about 45 minutes or so. Nothing special. Andrew asked me where the nudity was about half an hour into the “film.” He said he wanted to see some bush.

Eventually, the American meets up with a Parisian duo who are brother and sister. He moves into their apartment since the parents are away for the summer and eventually starts fucking the girl. The girl starts fucking the brother. They all start fucking each other. And when the girl gets her period, that doesn’t stop the fucking. The American smears her menstruation all over his face and falls asleep with her.

This went on for about an hour until the last five minutes of the movie. The parents come home from their vacation and find all three of them naked in a tent in the living room. Mortified, the girl tries to kill herself (if I recall correctly) and the guys run around in the street during those late 1960s student riots and the movie draws to a close.

Andrew and I walked out of the theater and used the restroom. On the way back to the car we didn’t say a word to each other. “What the fuck was that?” Andrew eventually asked. “What. The. Fuck?”

“Dude, I don’t know. I don’t want to know. He ate her period, dude.”

“Disgusting. I feel sick.”

“I know, let’s get out of here.”

We left the movie theater and went back to playing computer games or whatever the hell we did back then. Since then, neither of us has seen an NC-17 movie in a theater. We have had no desire to.

Years later, Andrew and I were hanging out and having a few beers. It was summer time.

Later in the day and a bit tipsy, we went and got water ice. Andrew ordered cherry and after having a few bites, proceeded to smear it all over his face and scream “LOOK, DUDE! I’M THE DREAMERS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

I haven’t spoken with him since. TC mark

Image – The Dreamers

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  • guest

    why'd you quit talking to andrew?

    • Kevin

      Because he's anti-fun.

  • Megan

    I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE

  • http://twitter.com/KevinMacTweets Kevin Mac

    THE RITZ.  I can't believe The Ritz made it onto Thought Catalog. The pinnacle of bougie in South Jerz.

  • Teukros

    To Wikipedia!

  • Oliver Miller

    Eva Green!  That is all.

    • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

      I'm gay, but those were some fantastic breasts. Even if she did look like an amputee.

  • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

    Incest is just a part of life in France. Everyone does it.

    Especially if the siblings are hot.

  • http://thefirstchurchofmutterhals.blogspot.com/ mutterhals

    I watched A Clockwork Orange on Cinemax when I was 13, that fucked me up for good. Also, when I watched Salo for the first time I thought it was a documentary. I was really that stupid.

    • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

      Clockwork Orange will give you insight into the world.

      But Salo will fuck you up. I personally found the amount of feces to be unrealistic and not suitable even for visual consumption, among other things.

  • Guest

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt03
    The Dreamers…it's a good movie

  • Uhnonnymus

    You watched an entire Bernardo Bertolucci film and THAT'S all you got out of it? Did you watch Last Tango just for the rape scene?

    • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

      I don't remember a rape scene. Maybe because I found the movie so boring I turned it off midway. Which taught me the important lesson:

      Even the most pornographic of films can be an utter turn-off.

      • Uhnonnymus

        Maybe you should stick to PG-13 Action flicks, as those seem come closest to your maturity level.

      • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

        Why do I have to like Last Tango in Paris to be a mature person?
        I like other Bertolucci films, like The Dreamers or The Conformist and simply found this one distasteful?

        J'accuse you of being a Bertolucci sock puppet, asshole.

  • http://twitter.com/crapface Hannah Foster.

    Andrew sounds like a fucking legend!

  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

    I am reading this and laughing.  I went to see that film with a friend and wasn't that put off (mildly at best).  However some years later when my father was flipping and the film was playing on Sundance Channel, I quietly excused myself and gave him forewarning “you should probably watch this one on your own”.

  • Ella

    I love that you call it “water ice.” Even though that's not what this article is about at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/t.jason.ham Jason Ham

    1. WHO ELSE HERE HAD TO WIKI “WATER ICE”?

    2. Who else thought that after reading the title and blurb that this guy's first NC-17 experience was WITH Andrew. Thought I was gunna read some trashy softcore gay lit and then ended up reading about menstruation…

  • federico

    bro i am also from cherry hill and also went to the ritz.  the ritz is called rave now or something

    • Crashoff

      omg me too! haha i saw blue valentine there a couple months ago

  • phantasthma

    so i've seen the dreamers and i'm pretty sure the blood is actually her hymen. i don't know if that makes it better or worse. and i don't know what kind of person i am that i actually know this little token of information.

    • http://typicalnut.blogspot.com Bema

      I don't think that's odd at all. It was her virginal experience. It just means you bothered to pay attention to the movie.

      • phantasthma

        come to think of it i don't think she and the brother have ~actual sex either. they just sleep nude together. and bathe together. and play kinky games while re-enacting iconic cinematic moments. just no actual intercourse.

  • Jimmy Darmody

    Michael Pitt <3<3<3

  • Pfft

    i made out with michael pitt. It was hot.

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