You need to consciously accept that you are going to be in a long distance relationship and take everything that comes with it. The quicker you do this, the easier it will be. You won’t feel sorry for yourself and you won’t let others tell you it won’t work. Just accept that this came with the decision of being in a long distance relationship and you can control the way you feel about things and you can control whether or not you want to make this work.
Surround yourself with people who believe in love, any kind of love, not just within reach kind of love
When I was in a long distance relationship with Mike, there were people that would tell me it would never work and there were people that told me time flies and it’s not so bad. Choose to surround yourselves with people that make you believe because if you choose to surround yourself with people who don’t, it will soon become your thoughts. Trust me, from experience, time flies and it really is not so bad.
You know how they say time flies when you’re having fun? Having friends to go out with will keep your mind off missing your significant other. Friends friends friends. Can’t say it enough.
Set time aside where you will talk and see the person
Depending on where you are and where your significant other is, it may be difficult to video chat unless you set a time to every day. I went to India for two months for work and the time difference was a killer. But we still set an hour or so to video chat everyday and committed to it. One person will have it harder than the other (I woke up at 5:30AM every morning to do so) but you are on the same team trying to achieve the same goal and visually seeing your partner, even if it’s through a computer screen, does more than you think.
Realize the bigger picture
There will be days when the entire thought of the long distance relationship gets to you. You’ll step back and ask yourself, ‘Is this even worth it?’ Mike & I were 22 when we decided to do long distance. We were both fresh out of college, building our careers and meeting new people and still decided to make this commitment. Trust me, I know the feeling and it happened multiple times. But if you really want something, through the uphill battles, you need to be strong enough to look past it and look towards the bigger picture. Because the bigger picture that I used to consciously make myself focus on when I was missing Mike, when I was thinking ‘I’m too young for this’, ‘I should be having fun in my 20s’, ‘This isn’t fair’, is my now reality and let me tell you, it is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined it.
See the blessings in disguise
Living alone, thriving alone, in a new place, is good for personal growth and will benefit you either way. It also forces you to trust your significant other by pretty much not giving you any other choice. And just think about how much character this will add to your love story. It’s the obstacles that make you grow as a person so just see the beauty in it.
Whatever you believe in, just pray. Pray to that greater being because it has gotten me through some tough times. Granted, I went to Catholic school for 10 years of my life, but I really believe God had my back through this.
You should always ‘flirt’ with your boyfriend/fiancé/husband but when you live together, you don’t always have the opportunity to anymore. Keep things fresh, because you can. And give him all of you when you’re together.
Don’t fight over the little things, especially when you are together
You don’t always get to see your significant other, so don’t let the little things ruin those times. These moments mean a lot and sad to say, define a long distance relationship. It’s all you get so you need to make the most of it. Do not take it for granted. Don’t spend your weekend together after 5 months of not seeing each other fighting. Will this matter in 5 years? If not, move on.
Tell the truth
When you’re in a long distance relationship, you’re always so scared of ‘shaking the boat’ that you sometimes think it’s better to just keep things from your significant other since you can. The cold hard truth is that you can’t. If you have to lie to your significant other, then you do not respect them and that says more than you think. I remember this one specific fight that Mike and I had where he thought this exact way and lied to me. This was so insignificant but the fact that he lied, the fight, of course, blew up into this huge deal. Don’t lie. Plain and simple. If you feel like you have to, there are more issues than you think and it will never work.