1. You are there for friends and lovers when they aren’t there for you.
You’ve spent hours listening to their problems and helping when you can, but when’s your turn? Would they listen? Would you be able to open up without feeling like you’re burdening them or being judged? If emotional support doesn’t go both ways, pull back.
2. You get hurt because you ignore red flags, wanting to believe in the best of people.
Optimism and empathy are admirable qualities, but don’t let them be reasons for people to take advantage of you. Trust your gut.
3. You’re uncomfortable asking for what you need.
Don’t let the fear of what people will think stop you from asking for what you know you deserve. You’re not being crazy and clingy for wanting to spend more time with someone you’re falling for. You’re not being entitled and high-maintenance by asking friends to do things for you, when you’d unhesitatingly do things for them. Stop apologizing for not being able to do everything yourself all the time, and go ask for what you want.
4. You say ‘yes’ and ‘maybe’ when you really mean no.
No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t have time to help you with that. No, I don’t have the emotional energy to go to that event today. Stop agreeing to things you don’t want to do, just because you don’t know how to say ‘no’ without hurting someone’s feelings. Prioritize yourself.
5. You let people get away with saying or doing hurtful things.
We have all accidentally said or done stupid things and not known that they would have an impact on the people around us. Mistakes happen. But when you start to see a pattern happening and don’t address it, that’s not being mature and rising above, that’s just letting people walk all over you. Shut it down.
6. You compromise on everything.
If you’re missing out on the things you want because of other people, or because you think you have to settle, stop. When it comes to finding love or finding your dream job, you should never settle until you find someone or something you couldn’t imagine parting ways with.