We all have goals.
My goals are
..to earn a higher degree.
..to get married.
..to have children.
..to lose weight.
..to meditate more often.
..to read today.
..to show up to work on time.
..to save money.
..to manage time a little better.
..to be happy.
Either way, we all have some sort of goal that we are trying to obtain, and sometimes, things just don’t work out. Do you ever wonder why it never works out? Even when you become obsessed with the goal, and so infatuated with the thought of achieving it, you still end up failing miserably. It’s a vicious cycle you can’t escape; you continuously put yourself on the roller coaster and for some reason end up in that downward spiral.
It’s a little thing called self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a constant mental battle between your conscious and subconscious mind. It’s when we create issues in our minds that end up hindering our goals. You have to learn to choose your thoughts, just as you choose your shoes each day.
Here are a few realistic changes that can be made to prevent you from sabotaging yourself:
1. Stop thinking and start doing: The laundry you keep putting off, just do it. The job opportunity that came up, just take it. The homework that needs to get done, just finish it. Stop procrastinating and start doing. You are sabotaging yourself by putting off important tasks.
2. Take risks and be brave: Don’t keep everything the same for too long. Switch up the coffee shop sometimes, go out with a new group of people, try new places, and go on trips. Keeping everything the same for too long will never allow any room for growth.
3. Soak in everything you have right now: Appreciate what you have right now. You’ll get the career you want, you’ll marry him, you’ll have that house, you’ll graduate, YOU WILL GET THERE. If you really want to appreciate the view you have to enjoy the climb.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others: Especially with social media, because that happy couple, fit girl, and carefree guy could hold more issues than you think. People only show their best self on social media, so do not even think twice about that.
5. Date the good guy: The guy that makes you laugh, the guy that values everything you are, the guy who is so patient with you, the guy you blow off, but refuses to give up on you. That’s the guy you want. You don’t want the guy that’s taking shots in every Snapchat story. You don’t want the guy that cares more about his image, then you. Do you want to know what should be attractive? Effort. You want someone who puts in effort not only with you, but also with life.
6. Let go of the past: The guy who broke your heart, the guy who’s heart you broke, the job you didn’t take, the school that you didn’t get into, the life you could have had, just let it go. You are damaging so many relationships, whether it be romantic or not, by holding onto the past. Everything that happened to you is making you who you’re supposed to be, so stop trying to understand why things happened the way they did. Focus on building the new.
7. Be more authentic: You’re allowed to be a little human, sometimes. In fact, it’s so healthy to be able to recognize the emotions that you are feeling. Tell people how you feel, and do not hold back. Shutting out your emotions and hiding from them will create more damage then allowing yourself to simply feel them.
8. Don’t wallow in self-pity: If you want something, work for it. Don’t sit around and question “why me?” You are in full control of your entire life. People tend to forget that we are in charge of how we feel each day. Accept the situation you are in now and look for solutions to change it. If you want to be happy, then wake up each day with a determined mindset.
9. Love yourself a little more: Start loving everything you are right now. Take time for yourself. Do more of what makes you happy. Don’t overload yourself, because you will cause more destruction than you think. Take a break when you need it, it’s healthy and you’ll be able to recharge. Enjoy your own company.