“A mother’s treasure is her daughter.”
For as long as I can remember I have thought about you.
I always wonder what your cry will sound like when you first enter this world. I think of the feeling I will get when I feel your skin on my chest for the very first time. I imagine my whole body going numb, I imagine the external chaos will calm, as if it were just you and I.
As a small child, I prepped for you. I would carry baby dolls with me everywhere I went. I remember rocking my baby dolls to sleep, dressing them up, pushing them in their stroller, and the best part of it all, I remember loving them with every single beat of my heart.
I know now that being your mother will not be that easy. I know that it takes far more work than that, but I can certainly tell you that I love you, already.
I can picture myself in your bed, reading you your favorite book for the hundredth time. I can already feel my heart melt listening to your little voice say, “just one more time, mommy.”
I can picture getting you dressed for your first day of school, and I will wrap my arms around you that last time as my heartstrings strain at the fact that you aren’t that little baby anymore.
I can picture going around for hours on end looking for the perfect prom dress. I’ll be standing there watching you get ready thinking about how fast time has gone by. My mind will probably overflow with memories of you dancing around the living room in your Cinderella costume and I’ll wish I could find the rewind button.
I pray we have that extraordinary unbreakable bond.
I pray that you’ll come lie in my bed as a teenager and tell me all of your secrets, aspirations, and the boy you like at school.
I can already feel my heart break when you discover the brutal truth that not everyone will be your friend, and some people are just so insanely cruel.
When I look back at my younger self, I pray that you don’t ever struggle as much as I did.
I pray that you don’t have to feel those stares, or hear those laughs as you walk down the hall.
I pray that you embrace every curve of your body, because your size does not define the person you are.
I pray you don’t allow the words of others tear your self-esteem apart. I want to teach you graciousness, perseverance, and forgiveness. I let the world break me and tear me apart, but for you I pray that you don’t let the world harden that gentle heart of yours.
I pray that you don’t let the world take away that beautiful smile.
I know nothing will be perfect, and I know I can’t protect you from everything. You have to experience hardship to learn. I just hope they aren’t near any hardship I had to take.
You have to get your heart broken by a man who can’t love, so you know what you deserve.
You have to let friends go that no longer serve you in a positive way, because in the long run you don’t deserve anything less than the best.
You have to break down and fall apart in your bed at night, so you are able to learn what you’re capable of.
I will teach you to be resilient, to be fearless, and to be strong. I will guide you in times that you feel the discomfort of moving forward.
Life is like the ocean; everything you experience comes in waves. Some days the waves will take you down and you will question yourself, and other days the waves will be calm. All you have to do, my love, is learn how to swim.
At the end of the day, this is your magical expedition in life, and whichever path you take, I will be here every single step of the way.
I love you already, sweet girl.