What I Wish I Could Go Back And Tell Younger Myself

Leo Rivas-Micoud

I know that sometimes you might wonder how things will be in your future, and I also know that although you are too young, you are already creating crazy plans in your head. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but most of those things won’t happen. And it’s not that you didn’t wish for them hard enough or that you didn’t take the right choices, but simply because things will not always work out the way you want them to. And that’s okay.

Life will only get harder, it is difficult to say this, but right now you are living the easiest part of your life. From now on, it will be much more complex and confusing, and sometimes you won’t have a clue about what you are supposed to do, and you might even lose your purpose or your willingness to move on. Your perspective on sadness will change completely; you will realize how stupid it is to be sad over some broken toys, or shallow whims. Instead, your priorities will shift to important things; you will discover what is worth being heartbroken about and what is not. Before you can even tell your pink childish bubble will be popped and you will fall into a reality that will be harsh and cold and disturbing.

Sometimes, when life seems too difficult and the problems are too challenging to handle, I wish I could go back time and be your age. I wish I could cuddle up next to my mom, listen to my dad’s bedtime stories, watch endless TV shows, fill colouring books, and not have a single worry in my head. I wish I could go back to a comfort zone, somewhere warm and gentle where I won’t feel endangered.

So here is my advice to you: enjoy your life right now, because you have no idea of how comforting it feels to be little. Naturally, as most people do, you will take everything for granted and you will underestimate the comfort you live in. Live with simplicity, you will miss it. So, by all means, enjoy the present, watch those stupid TV shows, cry whenever you need something, make scenes and be whinny, and please dedicate your life to live freely, laugh at everything and enjoy the little things.

I want to clarify that when you reach my age, you will still be the same person. Your ideas will modify, and so the way you see things but your essence won’t change. To this day I look for you inside of me when things get tough. I love to remember, in the measure that my memory allows me, all the things that you and I went through. I adore to leaf through old pictures and family albums, each page I go through unleashes so many emotions, they make me feel a little bit more awake. So please don’t let yourself die, please don’t kill the creativity and imagination that are still keeping me alive today.

By this point, and by the way I made my present life seem, you might think being my age is the worst thing that can happen. But I promise is not. The same way pain and suffering are deepened, I can assure you that happiness and bliss will fill your life in a way that you never thought possible.

You will grow to discover the world, and right now you don’t have an idea of how big it is. It is just limited to the city you live in, and that’s all that you know, and all you think exists. But the world is much bigger than you, than me, than anything you could ever imagine.

You will gain your own perspective of things, you will develop an ideology, and you will think for God´s sake; you will be an autonomous soul. Being your age, you entirely depend on what your parents think, of what you hear people around you say, of what it is inculcated to you. That, you will believe it is the ultimate truth. But growing up means doubting, comparing, challenging, changing your mind, it means that you will build your own set of ideas, your authentic theories, your base of values and principles. And all of those will belong exclusively to you. You don’t have an idea of how powerful they are and how far they can take you.

There are so many things to see, to explore, to learn. You will gain so much knowledge you won’t believe your head can retain so much information. Every aspect of life will fulfil your mind in an incredible way and by gaining knowledge through experiences and mistakes, the world will become much wider. You will open your mind, and when you allow the world to fill you, then every possibility seems real. You will feel powerful, almost invincible. The complexity of the world will first startle you but once you get comfortable with it, you will never want to let go.

Hopefully, you will be able to explore the most you can of the Earth. You will discover, you will develop, you will visit new places and meet new people, you will come across the richest cultures and everything they implicate, art, history, music, dances. You will try exotic food and drinks, your eyes will witness the most breath taking and stunning landscapes and views. You will feel alive and with each place you visit you will believe your soul is a little bit fuller.

You will connect with so many people. You will forge the strongest bonds with people that will leave a mark in your soul, and will be with you forever. You will debate, argue, exchange the weirdest conversations in the world, but they will enrich you mind, and soul. I can’t even begin to explain how amazing it is to sit down with someone, just open up and talk about abstract things, about feelings and human mysteries, about things that make you happy and sad and anxious. You will, therefore, understand how unique you are, as the people surrounding you will think differently and believe in other things. This might be scary, but remember to never let go of what you think, regardless of what other say, and to always be true to yourself. Because sometimes you might be all you have.

And maybe the most important thing is that you will discover new emotions in you, unleashing unexpectedly, sometimes mixing with each other forming the most complex forces inside of you. You will realize that there are so many you won’t be able to count them all. As life goes on, you will face different situations, you will gain experiences, good or bad, but all of them will undoubtedly have an effect on you. You will run and trip over and get up and do it all over again. And it will be amazing. You will cry with friends and all alone in the shower; You will laugh, most of the times euphorically, tears forming in your eyes and everything. You will feel extremely happy, and you will have your heart broken more than once.

I would love to tell you everything; but I don’t want to spoil it for you. There’s nothing more beautiful and exciting that not knowing what’s in store for you. It is not safe, it complicated. But it is worth it. TC mark

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