I have loved before.
But I have never lost.
How can something be a loss if you gain so much from it?
I so often get asked if I have a boyfriend or why I am single… and it always makes me smile a little inside. That question has never, ever bothered me. At all. And I honestly don’t think that it ever will.
I ask the same question to some people as well. But if you take a moment to really think about the question…. “Why are you single?” it almost translates to “What is wrong with you that no one wants to date you?”
Nothing is wrong, I just refuse to settle for the mundane. My soul craves adventure and depth, and certainty and uncertainty and – spoiler alert – I can provide myself with all of those things on my own.
Over the past few years I have really understood the importance of self love more than ever. We are often told that no one will love us if we don’t love ourselves first. While I believe that to be true, I also believe that sometimes special people come into your life to remind you of all the pieces of you that there are to love. They remind you of the beauty that you are and the love that you deserve.
I have been on the other side – in a committed relationship and I had felt, at times, envious of the single ones.
The ones that didn’t constantly “have to” check in with their partners, the ones who could come and go as they please, the ones who lived life on their terms – the ones who could run away to new places and have new adventures alone because that was what their soul asked of them at the time.
I also used to believe that the goal of life was to get married and have children – and that is a beautiful life to live, undoubtedly. But what I have learnt through past loves and adventures is to be in the moment and to not constantly seek what is next because this moment, this place in my life, will inevitably change. That is the only thing that we are promised – change.
We are always waiting for what is next. Anticipating, planning, trying to control the unknown. So here I sit, not waiting, not anticipating – not planning for a person to come along to “make me whole”.
I am whole on my own. If there is a person out there that adds to my life and who’s path aligns with mine, I know that I will find them and everything will be as it should be. As it always has been and as it always will be.