If there is something I know how to do right, is being single. After years of introspection and bad dates, I have figured out the magic potion that can make anyone good at being single.
1. Savior the complete bliss that is the absence of complicated text messaging etiquette
- You don’t have to worry about what your crush said, how it was said, how long it was taken to be said, or how many ha-has were included.
- You don’t have to think about how long you should take to answer, which, according to me, should be double the time it took the other person to text first. But what the hell do I know, it appears not to be very helpful, as I am the living, talking, and very opinionated proof.
- You don’t have to worry if haha looks too boring or if HAHA looks too excited, or if hahaha looks just right.
- No over analyzing selfies for your profile picture to eliminate those say “I’ll bake you your favorite pie and send you off to a hot tinder date”, or one that says “I’m definitely DTF, you don’t even have to try that hard, a couple of vodka-tonics and I’m good to go”
You get the point.
2. Learn to love yourself
Everyone has heard this, but I cannot even begin to highlight the importance.
You should be your favorite person in the world. It might sound narcissistic to some, but you need to love yourself. This way, you will learn what type of partner you deserve, and until it happens, chances are, you will continue to aim low. Of course, it is easier said than done. It’s a long process and you can choose to make it easier or harder on yourself, but you can get there.
Some people need more time and a big push — there is no shame in admitting to yourself that you may have self-esteem issues. That’s why we are young! Now is the time to fix some things we want (and that need) fixing.
Everything is so much more beautiful when you love yourself and you accept yourself, things just flow.
3. Make alone time fun time
If you’re an introvert, you already know being alone is amazing. It’s time to talk to yourself (your favorite person) time to read, time to clean, time to sing in the mirror, time to do whatever weird routine it is that you do!
If you’re an extrovert, take this opportunity to learn how to be completely alone with your thoughts, it won’t hurt you.
I get some kind of sick relief when I dump my cell phone for a couple of hours. It helps me set my balance straight, with no social interaction or distractions. I get to remember what’s really important, who I am, what I want, and what I have to do in order to get there.
4. Learn how to sit in a restaurant by yourself
So many people refuse to do this, but it’s so liberating.
You’re yelling to the world, “HEY! I’m in a public place where it is practically social suicide to be seen alone and I don’t care because I am company enough!”
It’s self-love. It’s beautiful. I’ve done this a couple of times, and people look at you weird. They think you got stood up. Of course, in Latin American and Hispanic countries like mine, this looks much more bizarre than other places.
Challenge yourself to do this. You can start small. Go to a place where there aren’t many people and just have coffee or drinks. Then leave. You can bring a magazine or a book with you.
Going to see a movie is good too and less intimidating because it’s dark. You’re also distracted watching something entertaining.
Build up until you can have an entire meal by yourself in a restaurant full of people.
5. Focus on your health: physical and mental
If you don’t already exercise regularly, I strongly advise you to do so, not only is it good for your body, but it does wonders to lower stress, anxiety and depression levels.
I work out a lot because I like it, and I’ve had the pleasant surprise of discovering how much you learn about yourself and your body, inside and outside.
I never thought of myself as an athletic person, but I realized all the things I can do and that makes me like myself even more.
Pushing through a last set of squats, running a couple more minutes than you normally can handle, lifting 10 more pounds than you did yesterday, and being able to say that you did it, that is pure gold.
On another note, being mentally strong is definitely a good investment of your time and effort, but before you become a resilient warrior and learn how to stand up immediately after a punch (remember there is no place for weakness in Sparta), you must cleanse your mind from any negative thoughts that may arise, and they will, so give yourself a hand.
I’ve always found that reading makes me feel more positive. Writing too! I have a journal I use every day to write down my thoughts, problems that trouble me, analyses, epiphanies…I write them all down. It helps clear my head and organize my ideas.
Also, keep busy! Focus on school or work, do better and be better. Work hard and make yourself proud.
6. Concentrate on the people that are there for you because they love you
Friends, family, whatever you choose, these are the people that want nothing more than to see you happy. They will always be there for you. Spend time with them, buy the first round of drinks, send them a cupcake just because. Show them how much you appreciate their support and love.
7. This is an opportunity to be whoever you want to be
Seriously, you can reinvent yourself.
Always wanted to take a yoga class? Never had time for that wine tasting you wanted to do? Your social schedule always got in the way of trying a vegan diet?
Now is the time. You can do anything, no one will judge, no one will say no, there is no one to respond to, heck, it can even be your little secret, no one has to know. I cannot think of anything more fun than brainstorming about that person you wanted to be, but never got to be for whatever reason, and taking action.
You owe it to yourself.