Why Did You Have To Turn Into A Monster?

Kalu Ci

Three months. We chatted for three months. Every day. I told you everything about me. I trusted you. Wasn’t that enough? You told me every day how much I meant to you. You were so perfect.

I was so happy to finally meet you. We were going to watch a movie together at your place. And maybe eat dinner together. I was so looking forward to it. You were so nice.

I wasn’t even an hour in your apartment.

You were stronger than me. Older. What should I have done? I told you that I don’t want it. I told you to stop. I cried in the darkness of your bedroom. Was it easier for you to imagine that I like it too in the darkness?

I wasn’t even an hour in your apartment.

You brought me back to your car. We drove for a while. You stopped your car at a red traffic light. You told me to get out. I did it. You gave me a chocolate bar before you drove away. Do you think this is going to make it better?

You just left me there in the middle of the night at a place I have never been to. I didn’t know where I was. I was afraid. I was alone. Do you know how long I sat there on the ground crying? Do you know how long I walked not knowing where I was going?

I thought you were something special. I thought I knew everything about you. But I didn’t even know your name. I knew nothing about you. Nothing. I was so dumb. You were so perfect.

I don’t even want to know how many girls scrub the inside of their thighs until they turn red to erase the feeling of your hands on their skin. I am one of them. After all those years I still feel your hands on my skin. I still feel it. You were so perfect.

Why did you have to turn into a monster? Why? TC mark

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