We have liked, or loved someone at least once in our lives. But that once, though it may be once, I know that that was one heck of an experience for us. Be it puppy love, kindergarten crush, or serious relationship like marriage, once feelings are involved. IT WILL ALWAYS BE ROUGH.
My only question now: Why should we confess our feelings to the one we love?
What’s the satisfaction of confessing? Why is it that everytime we fall in love, we always thought of telling our feelings to the one we love? Why can’t we just silently love them from afar? Why can’t we be there at the sidelines, admiring and fanboying/fangirling about them? Why is that I-have-to-tell-him/her-my-feelings urge there in our pumping organ? What the hell will happen after our announcement of kept love and hidden infatuation? What? And why? Oh, I know someone who I have a love-hate relationship with that answers all of these questions: HOPE.
In matters of confession, we hope that they may have felt the same way with us; we hope that this time, we have found true love; we hope that our prayers have been answered after all this time; we hope that maybe those signs we have begged for and marks we have encountered are justified by them; we hope that maybe this intuition of ours can be trustworthy this part of our life; we hope that maybe he/she may/must be THE ONE. And what’s worse, we are always the optimist in our plans, and I am not saying that’s a bad thing. I’m saying that you must also be prepared of the backfire of your strategy. Why? Because not everything goes our way. Never ever combine glamour with reality and truth with stupidity. You aren’t sure if the feeling is mutual. You aren’t sure that this is true love everyone’s blabbering about. You’re not sure they’re the answers to your incantations and prayers. You’re not sure that those signs are really pointing to that person (or was it just your stupidity again). You’re not sure of your instincts since they’ve never been handy throughout your life.
What if all those interactions of him/her with you were just friendly gestures? YOU MAY THINK IT’S LOVE, BUT MAYBE IT’S JUST FRIENDSHIP FOR THEM. Wanna be stuck in the friend zone again? YOU ARE NEVER SURE. YOU ARE NEVER SURE SINCE LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTAINTY AND DOUBT. SO WHY CONFESS? Please tell me your point again. I can’t see the logical sense, but what do you know? You take the risk and still go for it. You wanna take the chance and find out since maybe this is your last try, and you’ll never find another genuine one again. So, you go. You still go.
HERE’S THE PROBLEM WITH THAT: The statistical probability that you’ll come out a victor or a failure in this war of Confessing and Keeping-My-Feelings (which is 0% chance of winning in my stead since every girl or boy I liked turned out to be a Dumper, leaving me a Dumpee.)
So, once you have said what you have said, there’s no turning back now, you can’t take back and eat and swallow those words again. You’re lucky if they love you too, but if not? What are you gonna do? You’re gonna regret doing it. You’re gonna hate yourself for doing it. And then you’re gonna think of a million different scenarios once you meet them again like how you’re gonna behave from now on, whether you’ll still talk to them or not, or are you gonna walk out or stay, or beg for their love just because you’re too self-centred and desperate. You’re gonna think of that when you’re: going to sleep, eating, pooping, wall-staring (especially wall-staring) and after waking up. Your decision will haunt you. “WHY DID I CONFESS?” is the sole question you’ll ever think during, ‘til and after weekend. So after Hope, meet my new friend, Regret. That’s what you’ll feel mainly this coming few days. And that sucks, big time. What’s the point of telling someone what you feel if they don’t feel the responsibility doing it mutually with you? It’s like talking to someone who hears you but doesn’t listen at all.
That’s why if you’re planning on taking the risk, you better be aware of the consequences of it. Think of all the possibilities and circumstances that may happen ‘cause in the end, it’s your decision and you only have yourself to blame to. Have a back-up plan to your plan, and another back-up plan to your back-up plan, just in case. You could say that it’s a joke because your deduction has told you that you’re rejected even though they’re poker-faced and speechless. Now just think of a million more, just to be safe.
In a serious matter, it will always depend on you if you’re gonna do it or not, but one thing I’ve learned is that if you’re rejected and/or friendzoned and is now gonna live the life of having an unrequited love, you don’t stop from loving that person. NEVER. ‘Cause once you give up after one failure, one malfunction, then you never deserved that person’s love in the first place, and you never knew what love is from the beginning.