I know that some time has passed. I am aware that it feels like a burden how you still get that feeling in your stomach, that feeling that something is missing. There is a void in you resulting from moments that you wish had happened, words that were left unsaid, and conversations that never had true closure. You still miss them. You still wish things were different.
However, the desire to move on is greater than that last strain of hope you are holding on to. For the first time, you want to move forward with your life. But you can’t seem to get them out of your head.
I wish I had a simple solution. The truth is, the process of letting go and moving on is different for everyone. But I am here to tell you that even though it might seem like a cruel joke from life, missing them is part of the process of letting them go. You are human, you are someone who loved someone else deeply but that someone simply wasn’t meant to be a part of your life in the long run, you just didn’t know that part. You are grieving, it is completely normal to miss them, to feel sad, or even to feel angry. It will take time to heal, and it will take a simple decision. The decision that you need to let go, accept that they are not coming back. You might feel lost, but you are not. You are changing, and from that change, you are evolving. There is so much more to life than what you are feeling at this moment. Regardless, what you are feeling is very much valid and it is okay to still feel that way. I read once that a wound itches the most when it is about to heal and to be honest, that couldn’t be further away from the truth. Moving on does not have a time limit, you just do when you are ready but also when you least expect it. You are so close.
You do need to understand though, that you never needed their love, you never needed them. Believe it or not, you are more than capable of giving all you are lacking from them to your own self. Everything you think you need from a partner, you hold within yourself. Focus on you, there is no more fulfilling love than the love you can give yourself, and you deserve that love. You thought you couldn’t go on without them and yet, here you are, still healing but breathing and with a heart that is still beating. A heart that is still very much capable of love. Once you realize, you are extraordinary, powerful, and simply enough, you will hold the whole world in your hands and no one will be able to hurt you as much as they did. Because you will know what you are worth and what you deserve.
Finally, please remember that absolutely everything happens for a reason. You will get through this.