Here is the truth about abusive people and such harmful behavior in your life:
Abusive People Suffer Too.
That person with abusive tendencies also suffers. Note that this does not justify their behavior nor give you a pass to further sustain their treatment.
Often times there are underlying troubles that can stir up such behavior. Depression tends to be one of the biggest mental health problems behind abusive patterns. Some of you already know this, but I want you to understand that some of these abusive people may never be willing to face their pain head on and work through it instead of exerting their energy in unhealthy ways.
So you know this abuser suffers with something and you dare press the issue because you want to work things out. Then you hear something like this:
“I am not depressed.”
“Maybe you are the one dealing with something”
“Don’t you dare bring up my past.”
“Whatever happened is the done..”
“Let’s not talk about it”
This is denial.
Denial is a big indicator of abuse.
Again, they may never realize that they are dealing with s***. So they deny it.
We’ve all seen it, that one person in our job, school ,or family that indeed has some shitty stuff going on in their life. You dare to ask how things are going or offer a helping hand.. they deny that they need help. You dare confront or point out a default and you get sent through the tubes. They are just not ready to face their issues. This abuser will deny such problems and shut you down immediately when you threaten that fragile ego of theirs. Yes confronting their behavior can be a threat to their ego.
Abuse is deep rooted with insecurities.
You know when you see a bully from a wise perspective, it is obvious they are covering up their own insecurities and fragile ego. Damaged people with insecurities abuse and exert control over a victim to make their fragile selves feel stronger and taller. When dealing with an emotional abuser, insecurities tend to be covered by cowardly behavior. All of this explained with insecurities is also known as bullying and emotional abuse.
Ok what now?
You know that abusers hurt. You can spot insecurities from a mile away. Do yourself a favor. Dismiss this abusive nonsense from your life. Draw the line, enforce your boundaries, limit contact, be mindful of your energy, and finally leave if need be.
These individuals with toxic behavior need to grow and deal with their insecurities on their own (hopefully with professional help).
You have been wise and strong enough to read this on your own. If you or a friend have been with an abuser and they have not put in their part after calling out such harmful actions, then it is time to take serious measures.