To fuck a woman well, fuck her slowly. The sex doesn’t start once the lights are dimmed and the curtains are drawn on a night when you are both feeling frisky – it starts days, even weeks, before that.
It starts with the first date where you make her feel comfortable – as though you’re someone she can relax into herself around, someone she can finally let go with. It starts with the texts that you send her, reminding her you are thinking of her, you’re missing her, you see passion and fire when you look at her and hope that she feels the same way. The sex starts doesn’t start when you take off your clothes. It starts when your eyes meet from across a crowded bar and she thinks, “Maybe this is someone worth knowing.”
To fuck a woman well, get to know her. Understand what excites her, what drives her, what makes her feel passionate and furious and free. To fuck a woman well, you have to know who she is outside the bedroom. You have to know what she is looking for, out of life and from a lover alike.
To fuck a woman well, slow down. Making her cum isn’t a race and your desperate sprint to the finish is not the way to help her get off. Take your time when you’re fucking a woman. Play with her body. Play with her mind. Let your fingers wander over her skin, circling around danger zones but never plunging into them completely. Whisper quietly, calmly that you want her. That you’re mad about her. Let her know that you are there to explore her, not just to fuel your own needs.
To fuck a woman well, make her want you. Kiss her deeply, like you mean it, like the act of exploring her lips is more erotic than the feeling of her skin against yours. Tease her willingly and tantalisingly – trailing shivers and goosebumps down her spine. Let her tell you how badly she wants it. Let her body respond fully to your touch.
To fuck a woman well, learn her body. Don’t assume that what worked well for the last woman works for her as well. Ask questions. Keep her present. Let her tell you what she likes, what she’s craving, where she’s dying for your mouth and hands to roam.
Take your time while you go down on a woman – let her body respond to the feel of your lips on her, let your fingers slide slowly inside of her. Listen for her answers, her responses, for her ‘faster’s and ‘slower’s, her ‘there’s. Learn when she wants pressure and when she wants release. Learn when she wants it hard and fast and when she wants it slow and steady and soft.
Don’t second-guess yourself when pleasuring a woman – she needs you to be patient and firm. It takes time to get a woman off– so let her know that you have all of the time on earth. Let her know that this is not just cum and go.
To fuck a woman well, don’t neglect her. Once she’s orgasmed, it’s not your game from thereon out. Keep her pleasured while you are inside of her – reach a hand around to touch her, trail passionate kisses down her neck. When you’re on top of her, look at her – let her know you’re present with her, you’re invested in her, that you want the whole of her body and mind.
To fuck a woman well, don’t see it as a game of give and take. Let sex be an experience of togetherness, let your bodies merge together, let them work as a team and not as singular units, trying too hard to appease one another. To fuck her well, get lost in her. Let her get lost inside of you.
To fuck a woman well, stop worrying about your technique and just be present with her. Make her laugh. Make her shiver. Make her want the whole of you – unfiltered, unplanned, unorchestrated. And then want her right back. Make her absolutely certain that there is no place you’d rather be on earth than right there, right then, right with her.
To fuck a woman well, fuck her like you mean it. Because you do.
And if you can master that, you will always leave her wanting for more.