Just Some Other Things We Can Pumpkin Spice

coffee cup near orange vegetable on brown wooden surface
Kira auf der Heide / Unsplash

The season has shifted and now nothing but the scent of pumpkin spice fills the air. To celebrate the start of September I purchased my first of many pumpkin spice lattes whilst wearing my favorite fall hoodie and scarf in this persistent summer heat. September is fall, goddamnit, even if the whether says otherwise.

As I melted in my denial, sweating profusely through my very thick sweater, sipping that warm comforting overpriced drink, I pondered the following: Why stop at candles and lattes? What else could we pumpkin spice? Why not push the boundaries of this cherished scent/flavor?

Consider the following…

1. Pumpkin spice car freshener

2. Pumpkin spice toothpaste

3. Pumpkin spice pizza

4. Pumpkin Spice wallpaper

5. Pumpkin spice diapers

6. Pumpkin spice tampons

7. Pumpkin spice gasoline

8. Pumpkin spice bleach

9. Pumpkin spice douche

10. Pumpkin spice light bulbs

11. Pumpkin spice yearly calendar

12. Pumpkin spice quilt

13. Pickled Pumpkin spice

14. Pumpkin Spice: The Musical

15. Pumpkin Spice: The Movie

16. Pumpkin Spice: The Movie 2

17. Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Pie

18. Pumpkin spice soft porn

19. Pumpkin spice flavored condoms

20. Pumpkin spice flavored birth control

21. Pumpkin spice flavored day after pills

22. Pumpkin spice 4 president

23. Pumpkin spice the two hour tv special

24. Pumpkin spice lingerie

25. Pumpkin spice chicken seasoning

26. Pumpkin spice tire rotations

27. Pumpkin spice dollar menu

28. Buy one get one Pumpkin spiced

29. Pumpkin spice lasagna

30. Pumpkin spice vaccination

31. Pumpkin spice anonymous

32. Pumpkin spice aesthetics

33. Pumpkin spice spirit animal

34. Pumpkin spice antidepressants

35. Pumpkin spice gas relief

36. Easy, breezy, beautiful, Pumpkin spice

37. Drop top, Pumpkin spice

38. Pumpkin spice chemotherapy

39. Pumpkin spice by Kylie Cosmetics

40. The one where Pumpkin spice

41. It’s beginning to look a lot like Pumpkin spice

42. I now pronounce you Pumpkin spice

43. The United States of Pumpkin spice

44. Pumpkin spice the spice

45. Pumpkin, hold the spice TC mark

Valaniece Christina

Funny girl, writer, & clueless.

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