A Formal Apology To That Guy I Ghosted Over A Year Ago

smiling woman sits beside white wooden door during daytime
Tucker Good / Unsplash

I went on a date pretty recently. A date that I thought went rather well. Considering the fact that it was a tinder date, and there is a multitude of risks that come into play when meeting a complete stranger. Like being murdered, or finding out he’s ugly. I’d say discovering your date is unattractive is a high ranking concern. Murphy’s law was generous and so I thought it was a pretty solid night.

In the end, he told me he’d text me, which he did, and then I asked an open-ended question only to never hear back. At this point, I think it’s safe to assume that I’ve officially been ghosted.

I’m not that upset or heartbroken by any means. It was fun to go out and meet someone new. What I am pissed about is I ultimately became the “ghostee.” Quite a dick move.

Ghosting is as despicable as not using your blinker when changing lanes. There is a special place in hell for people who ghost and people who neglect to use their blinkers (They are seated comfortably between Hitler and people who brag about their juicers).

Admittedly, I definitely had this coming. Karma was long due.

The reason why I am so accepting of finally becoming the ghostee is that a little over a year ago, I completely ghosted some guy I went on a date with. He was so sweet. Paid for everything, really chivalrous, very into me, very attractive, someone my mother would’ve loved, we had a lot in common, all of the above. In the long run, he would’ve made me very happy and content. And so it only made sense to fade away into oblivion when prompted with date number two.

To this day, I don’t understand why I ghosted him. Maybe he was too available? Could it be that sick old joke “I would never want to belong to any club that would have some like me for a member.” Perhaps that is the only logical explanation to why I just completely disregarded that guy.

He texted, he called, he expressed how much he wanted to see me, and how much he liked me, and I couldn’t even be bothered to at least send a simple text explaining that I wasn’t interested. Why did I do this? Do you know how hard it is to find a guy like that? Do you know how rare decent men are? For that moment, if I recall correctly, it just felt really good to have control. For once, I was the one in control of the emotions.

What a dick move. Such a psychotic thing to want control over. Don’t be like me from a year ago. That’s such a sub-human thing to do.

So I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ghosted you, guy from a year ago. I hope you are well and I hope that when I did ghost you, it didn’t make you feel like absolute shit because I’ve certainly learned my lesson and I think we all know what it’s like to really feel for someone who cares little for you (Just like dicks who cut you off in your lane). I hope that you found someone who wasn’t a complete bitch (like me) because you deserve the best.

It sucks. Life is a bitch (like me) and so is love and relationships. There’s not much we can do about that. We can’t make someone like us, but what we can do is not ghost people. So, whoever is reading this, please for the love of god, don’t be a dick. Don’t ghost people. It’s not a nice thing to do. It’s so much classier to just tell them you’re not interested. It takes minimal two minutes to say you’re not interested. Not even that much time. It should not be a bother at all. It takes as little effort as putting on your turn signal. Because one day you’re going to sit by your phone, waiting for that someone to respond to your text or call you back, thinking the date went well and he or she was really into you. Then the next day, still no response but you feel you really shared a connection and then you build a life up between you two in your head. Then a week passes and you’re still telling your parents and your friends and you’re writing your memoirs. Now it’s been a month and they never texted back and now you’re miserable and you feel like shit and you finally realize that ghosting is shitty.

Or you’re like me and you think you’re gonna get laid when really you’re just getting ghosted.

I’m Vala-ghosted Christina and I approve this message. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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