First, I think it’s important that I admit that not only did I receive your text, I read it almost immediately. So when I say that “I didn’t see it” or that “I didn’t read it,” there is a very good chance that I am lying. That is not to say that sometimes I truthfully don’t see your text, somehow I just missed it, but for the majority of the time, I did, in fact, receive your text.
Why didn’t I respond? Multiple reasons.
1. I don’t like texting. It takes too much time, especially if I have to send back a novel of a text. It’s annoying that for most of us, our primary form of communication is through text messages. I’m not here to complain about social media and technology, I actually love the convenience of text, but I hate how long it takes to respond.
2. I prefer using proper grammar when texting. Because of this, my texts specifically take me some time to send out. It’s not as simple as “Ihy lol gtfo omg,”I take the time to type out an eloquent message. Then I have to proofread that message to make sure it all came out correctly. There is nothing more mortifying than having to send a correction after the fact.
3. If you asked me a question, that could also delay my response time. It doesn’t matter what the question is, if you ask me any sort of question, whether it be a yes or a no response or not, I will take all the time in the world to respond. Why? Because I’m thinking of an answer. I’m very indecisive, especially over text. Allow me the time to weigh my options. Especially if you’re a guy who is asking me out over text, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me until three months later, it took me that much time to talk to my friends about what they thought, talk to my mom about what she thinks, then I have to visualize our relationship together and see if I’m happy, then I watch all the romantic comedies that have ever existed. It takes time!
4. I don’t like you. If I don’t like you I probably just won’t respond at all.
5. Texting with you specifically is boring and tedious. I’m being very honest with you. If you text me things like “Hey” or “How’s it going,” or “How are you,” I won’t respond because I know that this exchange is just going to be several obligatory small talk messages that won’t really go anywhere.
6. You annoy me. Don’t be one of those people who feel the need to send five more text messages after I didn’t respond to the initial text. And then when those five extra texts weren’t enough, please don’t then go to every social media platform I have and message me on those hoping that will somehow garner my attention.
7. You’re asking me for a favor. If you do this, I will never respond. I will go out of my way not to respond. I would rather smash my phone than do you any favors.
8. I have convinced myself that you hate me. If I fail to respond to your message within a reasonable amount of time, then I convinced myself that you hate me and that you never want to hear from me again. You think of me as this self-centered bitch who believes she never has to respond to anyone’s texts. Now that you hate me in my head, I am filled with more and more dread when it comes to actually responding.
9. Texting gives me weird anxiety. You know how when people get excited when they see that they have received a text? I read that when a person receives a text, their glands secrete dopamine. Anyway. That doesn’t happen for me. When I receive a text, I feel anxious and I do all that I can to pretend like I didn’t hear the bell go off. I would much rather no one texted me ever.
10. This is not what the lord intended. God wanted us to awkwardly confront all of our issues like real adults instead of passively communicating through text.
11. Our friendship is weird. I won’t respond to you if we’re only friends via text message. This is really weird, I have a few friends that I only communicate with over text or social media, and when we see one another in person, we don’t talk, we pretend like we hardly know one another. Even though we have shared intimate details with one another over text, the only interaction we have in person is a polite hello. If that. It’s more of an awkward half smile, or a quick wave.
12. I’m just an asshole. There I said it.