I’m listening to this song right now that I just discovered. I’ve never heard of it before this moment but for whatever reason, it makes me think of you and us. Whoever you are. I know we haven’t met, but I know you’re coming, and I wanted to write you this letter so that you know I’m here.
I’m here waiting for you.
Sometimes I daydream about what you look like. Blue eyes, brown hair? Are you extremely tall? Is your hair curly, is it shaggy? What kind of music do you listen to? I always told myself I couldn’t love someone unless they love The Beatles as much as I do. I hope you know all the words to every song on Abbey Road so we can scream Golden Slumbers at the top of our lungs in the car with all the windows down.
What movies do you like? Do you like comedies? Dramas? What’s your favorite movie? What’s the movie that inspires you unlike any other? Sometimes I find myself stuck analyzing the characters in my head and their journey instead of watching the actual movie, do you do the same? I wanted you to know that I have this strange tendency to cry at the end of almost any movie, whether or not it’s actually sad. I just get so wrapped up in the story so be prepared to pull me into your arms every time it happens, no matter how old it gets.
I hope you’re not like the others. People constantly say that love goes the same no matter who you’re with. They say it starts well but ends horribly, but I don’t believe that. I’d like to think that you’ll be different. You’ll be better somehow. I imagine us running through the streets at night, laughing, loving, experiencing life. Sometimes I imagine us dancing around in our apartment, to whatever record is playing.
Maybe it’ll be the one that made me think of you just now.
But what if you don’t like who I am underneath it all? I spend a lot of time thinking about that. I think about what our first real argument will be about. What our first lie to each other will be? Who will break who’s heart first? Will we eventually grow to hate one another but lack the strength to leave? Will it be too painful with each other and too painful without?
Then I wonder what will we love about one another? What will it be that draws you to I and I to you? Will it be my tendency to constantly laugh and never get out what I have to say? Or how I do my curly hair so that it’s as big as my personality? Maybe you’ll like my essays, and the way I write. Will you be a bookworm? Do you love mythical stories or science fiction?
What are your quirks? Do you hate it when people chew loudly? Do you love mornings but can never quite bring yourself to be awake for them?
I’d like to think that I know you. Not to mean that we have already met, I mean that once we do finally cross paths, it’ll feel as if this was always meant to happen. I know you’re coming, that you’re out there living your life, pursuing your dreams, fulfilling your passions, planning for tomorrow, just as I am.
And eventually, we’ll finally cross paths, like we’re supposed to.
But I’m in no rush. I have a lot to work on and maybe you do too. I want us both to be ready for one another so that their is nothing in our way. Nothing to stop us from being together fully.
I’m going to enjoy the journey it takes finding you. That will be the best part of our story. The how. And from there, we’ll figure out what next.
But until then, I love you.