You are the kind of woman who is not used to being served. The harsh realities of life and the street wisdom that comes with it, have made you a quick hustler. When on dates you pull out your own chair, you open your own door. You mock the women on T.V. who wait in the car till their dates come around to let them out. You mutter, these people have plenty of time to waste.
But something good would happen to you today. You will meet someone who will teach you the luxury of being served. He would hold your chair down while you adjust into your seat. Do not be afraid and untrusting, thinking it is some childish prank where the person holding your chair suddenly pulls it from under you and you come crash landing. He would pour your wine. He would open the door for you, not because your hands are full, but because he has come to show you that you too deserve to be served.
Something good would happen to you today. You will meet someone smelling of black orchids,his stubble a day old. The type you would be proud to show your mother. He would be nothing like those ones in the past who you hid like a dirty bra strap. You used to be afraid of loving the handsome, confident ones because you love being the centre of attention, unwilling to share the spotlight. You do not like people looking at you like you are the lucky one. But you would meet someone and you would learn that most times, being in love means playing the second fiddle; that love is not a singing contest where all the participants are in a joust for the limelight. Your success would be his success and for the first time you would enjoy being someone’s cheerleader.
Something good would happen to you today. You have been tottering and stumbling on this journey of un-hating yourself and unlearning the to cast your pearls as merchandise before swine. You have tried to stop drinking at odd hours and binging on food to stuff the pain away. You have tried to be responsible and change your wardrobe, get a job. But today, someone would come along and like a kind parent who held your hand as you wrote your first letters, he would hold your hand and make the process less painful, and together, you will stare down the demons of your past that left you maimed for so long.
Today someone would come along and you will not be ashamed to say, I need you. Not in that manipulative way you often used to lure men to bed when you became emotionally horny; men that you used to keep the cold away. Men you left disappointed after they tried to call you thinking that something more than a one night stand had happened but you would not pick their calls. But you would meet someone and your need for him would be genuine.
You would meet someone and he would love every inch of your body. He would love to burrow in your mind. He would care to ask, What are you thinking? He would cover the lone islands of your body with kisses and discover your mountains and your hills, the valleys and the deep crevices of your body, like Columbus discovering the Americas. You will not be ashamed to be totally uncovered. You will stop hating on the body, that soil you bloomed in.
You have carefully avoided the ones more experienced than you, those ones who have been privy to a world not yet open to you. You have asked yourself, How would I quench that feeling, how do I numb the doubt that they may not be patient enough to explain the intricacies of the unfamiliar to me? Would he not be embarrassed at my naivety? Would he be shamed by my ignorance?
But you would meet someone and he would not grow irritable at your questions. He would love your curiosity. He would never be condescending.
I do not know if he is the one mounting the flight of stairs, coming home for dinner tonight, or the one you would sit beside on your way home after a day’s work. But if he is none of these, it could be Providence, showing a more romantic side of Himself; letting you know that you are loved. Deeply and affectionately.
Today, something good will happen to you.