What It Means To Love Someone From Afar

Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong person. Not that they are wrong for who they are as people, but at this moment in time they are either not in a place to love you back at the capacity that you need to be loved, they have serious amounts of work to do on themselves as solo individuals, or they are not able to match the magic that you are generating and giving out to them.

However, that doesn’t mean that the magic isn’t always there within you.

Unreciprocated love might be one of the worst feelings we can create with another human being. But what’s worse is continuing to allow someone in your life who is a constant reminder that right now, for whatever reason, your love isn’t enough for them. Continuing to allow someone in your space who constantly hurts you, lies to you, makes you question your worth, your love, or even as broad as who you are as a person, is by far the most toxic move we could ever make for ourselves. Because it isn’t you. You are not wrong for loving someone wholeheartedly. It is not a character flaw to believe in another human being.

It is them. It is their choices, and their movements, and their constant lack of living in reality. Because if these individuals, the ones who take our love, chew it up, and spit it out on the dirty streets lived in reality, then they would have to face their own issues. They would have to face the shame and guilt that has built up over the countless number of times they have hurt people. People like you. And facing shame is hard, but for those of us who are on a path to enlightenment, who want to be better and do better for ourselves and every single person we come in contact with, we understand the growth in the dirty work. The growth in hurting someone and being brave enough to say I am sorry, and to mean it, and do better the next time.

These people, they do not see that, not yet at least. And to be brutally honest, some of them might not ever get there. And you can’t will someone to be honest, or kind, brave, or bold. So, what do we do when these are the types of people we fall in love with? Because it doesn’t just turn off for us, no matter how much they hurt us.

We choose to love them from afar.

We cut off communication, we stop seeing them, we stop responding, we stop allowing them to take up real estate in our mind and heart, and we wish them the best of everything in this world. You can’t be friends with someone who is okay with breaking you a part. Not right now. I know this is easier said than done, obviously. But when you feel like texting them, write a love letter to yourself. When you miss them, dive headfirst into a passion that sets your soul on fire. When all you want to do is hold their hand, smell them one last time, or just laugh with them, send the universe a prayer that they are happy, healthy, and that they are healing and working to become a better person today than they were yesterday. Even if they aren’t.

What is meant for you will always find you. And this, this hurt, the lying, the back and forth, the choosing you then not choosing you. This isn’t for you. It’s for them and where they are at in their life. Hurt people will always hurt other people. So, choose to break the cycle and heal from the chaos.

You were made for more than this, and it’ll be yours.

About the author
Sturdy Midwestern Gal. Hearty appetite. Pliable soul. IG-tylynpaige20 Follow Tylyn on Instagram or read more articles from Tylyn on Thought Catalog.

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