I believe that fear is the foundation in which all misunderstanding, regret, and emptiness stems from. When we give fear the permission to imbed itself into our being, we open up a path for ignorance to grow. Facing our fears is a tale as old as time, but what if we refused to give fear any space at all? What if we decided, here and now, that we will no longer let fear exist?
I know most of you reading this are thinking, “Easier said than done,” but the first step is to just do the thing. Do the thing that scares you the most. Turn that fear into action and jump in. A million things will run through your mind, because the water is murky and we don’t know what waits for us below the surface. But isn’t that where the most interesting and beautiful things can be found? In the cracks where wildflowers meet the pavement?
I’ve wanted to be an author my entire life. I knew going after that dream meant rejection would most definitely be a part of my everyday life. I knew there was a chance people would hate my work. Do I have anything important to say? Will people understand me? Am I talented enough? Am I enough? My dream was my biggest fear, and I knew if I let fear control my life I would wake up one day and think, what if? What if? What if?
Or I could just stop thinking and talking about it and just do it.
In the summer of 2018, I changed my entire life. I moved to New York City with no job, no money, and no friends in sight. I sold my car, cashed out any money I had saved, responded yes to a craigslist roommate ad, and cannonballed toward my dreams. And it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am not going to be one of those people that paint this pretty picture of little cafes in Brooklyn and dancing in the Manhattan rain. The reality of it is I have student loans that need to be paid and credit card debt and sometimes I have to choose subway fare over a hot meal.
But anything worth doing has never come without sacrifice. You have to decide if the thing that lights a fire inside of your soul is worth it. And maybe I’ll spend the next 60 years chasing this crazy dream of writing words on paper because it’s what makes me feel alive. It’s what has completely drowned out any fear that existed inside of me. That, to me, sounds a whole hell of a lot better than wondering “what if” for the rest of my life.
I choose to not let fear exist. I chose to control my own life. We only get one shot at this beautiful, crazy, insane journey, and it could all end tomorrow.
Choose to be the one that decides your fate, not fear.