1. “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” – Oscar Wilde, clever until his final moments.
2. “A bulletproof vest.” – Convict James Rodgers when asked if he had any last requests. He was executed via firing squad moments later.
3. “One last drink, please.” – Jack Daniel. (Rumor has it that Daniel, who died of blood poisoning after stubbing his toe, could’ve lived had he dipped his toe in some of his own whiskey to sanitize it.)
4. “This is the Fourth?” – Thomas Jefferson to Robley Dunglison, his physician, on his deathbed. (It was actually the third of July, not the Fourth, but Dunlison didn’t have the heart to tell the Founding Father he might not live long enough to experience one last Independence Day. Other accounts say Jefferson woke up later and refused medication, making his last words “No doctor, nothing more.” The question still remains, but either scenario is cool.)
5. “I’m bored with it all.” – Winston Churchill, forever a cynic.
6. “Does nobody understand?” – James Joyce. (No, no they don’t.)
7. “Don’t you dare ask God to help me.” – Joan Crawford, American film actress known for her ambition and headstrong attitude, on hearing her bedside nurse praying to God for mercy.
8. “I should have never switched from Scotch to Martinis.” – Humphrey Bogart, American actor and heavy drinker who died of esophagus cancer at age 57.
9. Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? Frech fries!” – James French, American criminal who spoke these words before being executed by electric chair.
10. “Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!” – Karl Marx.
11. “Don’t worry, they usually don’t swim backwards.” – Steve Irwin, seconds before being stabbed fatally through the heart by a stingray.
12. “What is the answer?” Silence. “[Laughing] In that case what is the question?” – Gertrude Stein.
13. “Pardon me, Sir, I did not do it on purpose.” – Marie Antoinette, Queen of France.
14. “Get my swan costume ready.” – ballerina Anna Pavlova, whose dedication to dance was widely known.
15. “Well folks, you’ll soon see a baked Appel.” – George Appel, convicted murderer who died by electric chair.
16. “And now, in keeping with Channel 40’s policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you’re about to see another first — an attempted suicide.” – Christine Chubbuck, Floridian news anchor who committed suicide during a live broadcast.
17. “I am not the least afraid to die.” – Charles Darwin.
18. “I am just going outside. I may be some time.” – Captain Lawrence Oates, English cavalry officer who walked out into a blizzard during an expedition in Antarctica. In doing so, he saved his remaining men by leaving them with one less mouth to feed.
19. “Are you ready? Let’s roll.” – Todd Morgan Beamer, a passenger on United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed landed in a field in Pennsylvania with his help. According to his wife, Todd’s catch phrase had always been “let’s roll,” and it was these words that Todd said before attacking the plane’s hijackers.
20. “I must go in, for the fog is rising.” – Emily Dickinson, poet who often wrote of death and mortality.
21. “I think you’re right, Wyatt. I can’t see a god damn thing.” – Morgan Earp, brother of famous cowboy Wyatt Earp, after he was shot in the back. The phrase refers to a conversation Morgan had with his brother, with whom he was close.
22. “Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.” – Nostradamus, a French apothecary who made prophetic predictions throughout his life.
23. “It’s stopped.” – Joseph Green, famous British surgeon while taking his final pulse.
24. “So little done, so much to do.” – Cecil Rhodes, inventor of the Rhodes Scholarship.
25. “Why are you weeping? Did you imagine that I was immortal?” – Louis XIV (Louis the Great), King of France said this to his attendants on his deathbed right before he died.