I stumbled upon an article not too long ago, published by Daily Mail, about how much women don’t want other women to succeed. As someone who has been persistently never understood the hate exchange between women, the article enthralled me; my favorite line had to be: “Women see everything as an emotional battleground. We are brought up to crave attention and compete for it. So when one woman gets a promotion, the others feel compelled to bring her down to their level.”
Not only is this true, it is an understatement. I mean this in the way that this jealousy-fueled focus on women is essentially all around us all the time. Mean Girls is not just a movie; it is a way of life people adopt when they feel like they are better than other people.
Attempting to break down the problem that women have with each other seems as though I am pointing fingers. But I’m referring to the problem with all women, not just women other than me. Being part of the solution is trying to avoid “hater tendencies.”
Let me explain something that (in my personal opinion) will put your mind at ease before reading the rest of my thoughts on women. There are two types of people in the world: people that are wise, and people that are not. Know that when I say the word “wise,” I am not referring to intelligence level. Someone with a high IQ is a smart person. Being wise is something much grander on the scale of life; wise people understand that the world is subjective to each person, and therefore see the world as it pertains to each person. Truly understanding that everyone has his or her own path and problems to deal with is essential to being a good person.
Anyone who is a woman and attacks you is not a wise human. They have underlying issues that they may not even know are there (and most don’t).
Here are a few of my problems with women, dissected:
They Feel More Comfortable With (Horrible) Labels
Some of the meanest girls that I’ve come into contact with just want to categorize everyone in sight. You know the drill. “That girl is such a slut, and her friend is a bitch.”
The bottom line is, spouting fumes at someone else takes the focus off of you. We all have flaws and we all make mistakes. By placing women into these sectors, we’re ignoring the rest of what they’re made of.
And even if you need to say it, there’s no reason to say it in public. Trust me, you’ll be looking a lot worse than the person your bad mouthing.
They Can’t Handle Your Happiness
The green-eyed Monster is real.
A woman who is extremely insecure with jealous tendencies isn’t going to want to hear about your new job. Or that cute (but deserved) thing your boyfriend did the other day. Or that you just aced a test you’ve been studying for all week.
Who cares? Let them go. You can’t have someone dragging you down for things you’ve worked hard for and deserve. They’ll come around, or they won’t.
They Believe There’s Safety In Numbers
Who wants to be that one girl that goes against the crowd? No one wants to do that, especially in high school and college! It’s much easier to just agree.
When I was in school, just like everyone else in the world, I’d just kind of stay silent when a comment was mentioned about another girl that I knew wasn’t deserved. It was fine for a while, but eventually cliques want to know you’re loyal to them, i.e. why would you be here if you don’t agree with us?
Eventually you’ll run into an issue where you just can’t pretend to agree anymore. But remember: they’re going to keep on being horrible. Probably forever.
They Think They’re In The Right
Women like to make themselves feel better by assuming that their opinions are correct. We all do this. It’s a woman thing.
However, accept now that sometimes you are wrong about things. You may be wrong just because you don’t know something else about another woman’s life. Once you accept this, the labeling will fall away as you accept that everyone believes themselves to be in the “right about everything” category.
Keep in mind that someone who is truly wise about the world will not try to tear you down. The bottom line is, don’t beat yourself up about someone who does not care about the greater good. The world will weed them out eventually.
And to those girls that read this and refuse to change their ways: you will always be the problem.