Did you know that mood swings might not be linked to PMS? A study done in 2012 found that there might not be nearly as much of a correlation as once believed. But that is a far cry from mood swings having no hormonal element. Every woman knows that there are days when anything from the time of the month to birth control can cause a sharp decline in emotions, not to mention the way more intense changes like pregnancy and menopause may occur.
While in a perfect world men would have an instinctual understanding of how these hormonal shifts can effect mood, they really don’t. So when a sudden downward shift, an explosion of tears, or an angry outburst comes along, it may cause much more strife than it has to. With better communication, women can help their sometimes clueless partners know what they are going through, and with better understanding their partners can possibly help.
1. Tell Them It Is Important To Be Positive
There was an interesting study done by the University of Chicago about the way positivity in male partners impacted heterosexual relationships. The results found that men that are more positive tend to have better, more lasting, and happier marriages.
On a less researched – but still relevant – basis, we can say that positivity is infectious. If you are feeling down, it might help just to have your partner reacting in a more cheerful manner to pull you out of it.
2. Explain How You Feel In Those Weak Moments
One of the best ways to make your partner understand what you are going through is to be open about it. Yes, you want to be the strong woman of his dreams. But you are allowed to be vulnerable, and letting him know you feel that way will make him more inclined to empathize. Especially if you break down what it means.
3. Promise To Always Try Not To Lash Out
It is one thing to be in a bad mood, even a hormonal swing. It is another to lash out and take it out on the ones you love. If this has happened in the past (most of us do it at some point when we have a bad day), your significant other may be worried about it becoming a pattern. Assure them that you will always try not to lash out at them.
4. Be Open When Those Bad Moods Hit
Your partner will probably be able to see you are in a bad mood right away. But that doesn’t mean he will know why. His first instinct may be to worry that you are angry with him, and being on edge that way can be a real strain that just makes things escalate. Be open when a bad mood hits you, and about what has caused it.
5. Give Them Ways To Engage In Coping Activities
What do you do when those mood swings overtake you? Have a glass of wine? Take a long bath? Curl up in the bedroom with Netflix and make yourself into a human-blanket burrito? Chances are your SO is worried and wants to be there for you. Include him in some of your coping activities, though don’t be afraid to ask for time alone if you need it.
6. Let Them Know They Aren’t The Problem
This was covered a bit above, but it should be reiterated. Especially if mood swings are a chronic problem. Let them know that they are not causing the bad moods, and you love them. Those words can be an incredible balm.
7. Ask For Their Honesty
Are you acting out of control? Getting snippy? Hurting them in some way? Ask them to be honest with you about how your behavior or mood is impacting them. Especially if they are prone to anxiety, and you could be exacerbating the issue. The two of you may end up feeding into one another’s emotional state, inadvertently making things worst.