1. Someone who doesn’t give you butterflies.
While this may sound very elementary, I am being 100% serious. Butterflies are one of the greatest rushes that one can experience — it may be even more of a rush than the Tower of Terror (but really though…). Getting that rush from the pit of your stomach the whole way to your heart that is beating so quickly that you don’t even have time to catch your breath…. It’s a wonderful feeling that I believe, should never go away. I’ve experienced butterflies a few times in my life, and I know that I want to experience that rush, that sensation, that intense fluttering motion every time I look at my man.
2. The “Oh he’s rich…” “Oh he proposed so I guess I’ll get married now…” “Oh he’s handsome…” Guy.
DATE! I am such a firm believer in dating, because if one does not date, how does one know what they want and what they don’t want in a partner? So for the past few years, I’ve gone on many dates. I have even been in relationships that span out maybe three months. One thing that I have come to realize by dating is that I know what I want in a man. I know the qualities, characteristics, and morals that I am searching for in a soul mate. Knowing these three items, I don’t plan on being in a relationship with anyone who lacks those characteristics, qualities, and morals. If you know what you want in a relationship then you will not settle for some Joe, Bill, or Bob.
3. Someone that you cannot see yourself growing old with.
A wise man once told me do not date someone who you cannot see yourself marrying. I did not quite understand that until this year. After taking time to get to know myself and get (most) of my selfish adventures out of the way, I have realized something. He’s right. While I am a big supporter of dating, being in a serious relationship is different. You don’t want to grow old with a Joe, Bill, or Bob. You want to grow old with someone who makes you feel special, beautiful, spontaneous, loved, and cherished. Someone to sit on a porch swing with when you’re 80 looking at the grandchildren playing soccer in the backyard. If you cannot picture yourself doing this with your significant other than they may not be that significant.
4. Someone that doesn’t bring out the best in you.
My mom says she knows when I actually like someone or if I am forcing to make something work, because I am missing my spark. My laughter, my smile, and my happiness are forced. You know what? She’s always right, too. I want someone who I can laugh obnoxiously with and share my smile and passions and joys with. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t bring out your passions, joys, laughter, and smile?
5. Someone that doesn’t support your life goals and inspirations.
You want to see the world? You want to go back to college? You want to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of your 5 children? That’s great! So do that! …and have your other half stand beside you, not in front of or behind you, during that process supporting you every step of the way. That’s what it’s all about. Support, acceptance, and compromise.
6. Someone that doesn’t like your friends.
Who knows you better than your friends? Besides your Mom, I doubt really anyone does. A huge red alert should be if your significant other does not like your friends or doesn’t want to be around your friends. Going out for drinks, catching a movie, grabbing dinner are all social interactions that should be happening every once in a while. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is constantly avoiding them, I would be a little bit concerned.
7. Someone who doesn’t respect you.
Too many times I have watched both men and women get into relationships and not respect their partner whether that be with their job, education, or morals. I had an (ex) boyfriend tell me that my career is a joke. (I’m a high school English teacher). “I am simply a glorified babysitter.” Guess where he’s at now — not in my life. Not having respect for your partner is like grocery shopping at The Gap or driving a car without gasoline. It just doesn’t work out too well.
8. Someone who does not love you unconditionally.
When I think about unconditional love, I think of my parents or my best friend. They have always shown my unconditional love right from the beginning no matter. They don’t think about it; it just happens. It’s free; it’s flowing; it’s natural. It is not forced; it is not questioned; it’s just unconditional love.
Do not settle for anything less than beautiful, unconditional love.