1. They don’t have to get a period. Period.
Ladies – we all know when that time of the month is coming around. We cry, we laugh, we get angry, we get happy, we cry again…all in a matter of seconds. Our pants don’t fit. We can’t find anything that will hide that 5 lbs of bloating we just gained overnight. We eat chocolate, peanut butter, chips, pretzels, icing, cookie batter, anything that we can get our hands on. Then we bleed for a solid 4-6 days while Satan prods at our uterus making it feel as if it will explode any minute. Guess what guys – you’ll never experience this.
2. Men don’t have to worry about not getting a period.
There is nothing worse than the day coming and going and another day coming and going without getting “it”. You sit worrying and fretting about this. It consumes your day. You drink extra water, so that you have a legitimate reason for going into the bathroom once again to check if it’s there. You think about binge drinking…(you know just incase) and maybe tripping down that flight of stairs at work (you know…just incase). You think about how you are going to tell that guy you hooked up with last month that your pregnant with his kid. All this is going on in a girls head while the guys are still bragging about lasting for more than five minutes.
3. Men don’t have to wear bras.
Guys, imagine wearing a cup…like a really tight fitting cup that lifts your junk fairly high and constricts it from moving freely…all day. Now on top of your junk being in this cup, tight and constricted, you have women passing you all day checking it out. Gawking, staring, and drooling over your dick that is so uncomfortable that it’s making you pissy. Kinda annoying? The answer is yes. This is what women go through on a daily basis. Bras suck. End of story.
4. Men don’t have to worry about getting up hours before leaving the house to look presentable.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know a few guys who like a look good. They spend a decent amount of time getting ready in the mornings making sure they look like straight sex when they go out into the public’s eye. However most men rush through a shower and then throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, and ta-da, they’re ready to conquer the world while still looking good. Women, on the other hand, don’t have this luxury. We have to shower – which includes shampoo and conditioner because who doesn’t want soft looking hair, shaving our legs, our underarms, and anything else we may want to tidy up. We, then, have to blow-dry our hair, style it, and hairspray it, because we didn’t just waste the first 20 minutes of our day for it not to look this way for the rest of the day. Then comes the make-up and how I personally dread this every morning. After all this is completed, we are not even fully finished yet. I mean, we didn’t even pick out our clothes — and this can take a while. Tired yet?
5. Men don’t have to shave.
Going along with the #4 – guys, you really don’t have to shave. There is nothing better than facial hair. Period. Do the female population favor – just stop shaving for a week or so. Let that beard grow.
6. Men don’t have to work out.
I’ve dated quite a few guys within the past 5 years and I don’t think one of them had a six-pack, a nice set of arms, or some rockin’ legs. To be quite honest, I didn’t care. Call me cliche, but I like guys for their personality. Living with four guys in college, I was involved in quite a lot of guy talk. I understood that girls didn’t have it so easy. I mean a good personality and sense of humor was a must for all of the guys, but “a nice, firm rack, tight ass, good legs, and curvy hips – but athletic curves only” was what they liked. Impossible to accomplish.
7. Men can wear sneakers with everything.
Guys – you’re wearing a polo and cargo shorts? Jeans and a t-shirt? A cut off and athletic shorts? A button-down and khakis? You’re wearing sneakers with all of those outfits? Must be nice.
8. Men don’t have to go through childbirth.
Now I don’t have personal experience with this yet, but I am assuming it is as horrendous as it seems. Guys, you get to do the fun part and make the kid. Women have to carry around your kid inside of them for nine month…NINE MONTHS…and then push it out of them? I mean, really? I think I would rather spend a day in hell.
9. Men don’t have to play hard to get. Ever.
Women like to think that we are playing hard to get, but in reality we are down right awful at this game. We sit there on our phones and respond as soon as we get a text or if we are feeling really bad ass we will make them wait a whole five minutes to respond to “keep them waiting” even though it took them two hours to respond to your text. Men know what they’re doing. They aren’t dumb. They know the second they get us wrapped around their finger and they play the game well. Men don’t have to worry about whether they have the girl, because we make it beyond obvious. Men, on the other hand, make it impossible for women to dissect anything they say.
10. Men can pee anywhere…while standing up.
Recently while I was in Camden, I had to pee in a solo cup and while this wasn’t my finest moment, I realized during this experience that I envied guys ability to pee wherever they wanted without a care in the world. I mean the guy behind me at a DMB show last weekend pissed right on the lawn in front of everyone like it was no big deal…and it wasn’t a big deal. No one cared. However, if I would’ve peed in-between a car, everyone would have been asking about “the drunk girl who broke the seal too early.” So once again men, you are lucky.