So you met someone new. They have held your interest from the moment you met them. They are consistent; they call every day and text right back most times. You have butterflies every time you see them.
So why do you feel like something is wrong? Why do you feel like any moment something bad will happen or you will catch them doing something that will ruin it all? Why do you find yourself thinking that they are lying when they tell you how much they like you?
Like at any time you will find a hidden girlfriend, wife or side chick? Why can’t he just be as genuine as he appears to be? It is perfectly normal for a woman who has been hurt, lied to, deceived, cheated on or abused to have tons of doubt when meeting a man who appears to be the opposite of what she is used to.
Take your time, move at your own pace. Don’t let yourself be rushed by that high feeling that he gives you. Resist the urge to rush into sex, don’t rush into a commitment, and don’t rush into introducing him to the kids, your friends and family. Not until your feelings of doubt have been replaced by confidence. The best way to help encourage those feelings is to be honest with you.
Ask yourself, why do you feel so undeserving of a good man? Why don’t you trust or believe him when he says nice things that you deserve to hear? Why are you afraid to let your guard down and let him in?
You may find that you still have residue from your past relationships. Your trust level has been compromised and it’s time to have it restored. When meeting someone new, they should have a minimal amount of trust from you UNTIL they do something to break it. Not saying to trust BLINDLY. You need to be able to see warning signs and red flags when they appear.
The man needs a fair chance with your heart. If the thought of this scares you, you may not be ready. And guess what? That is okay! It’s okay to meet someone that you aren’t ready for. A healthy relationship REQUIRES the ability to be vulnerable.
You have to be able to trust another person with the most delicate parts of you. If this is the case, you may want to end it before he gets too involved. The last thing you want to do is to be responsible for wasting anyone’s time. If this ISN’T the case and you ARE ready, just a bit nervous because it’s new for you then you may want to be honest with him about your concerns. Let him know that he is doing everything right; it’s just going to take a little time to get used to.
In the meantime, work on changing your mindset from “waiting for doomsday” to “allowing things to happen naturally and taking it day by day.”
After all, you have been through so much…you deserve to finally find someone who won’t take all that you have to offer for granted. Do yourself a favor and don’t self-sabotage your chance. Sometimes it’s not too good to be true.