At this point in my life I have had a plethora of relationships. Mind you, when I say ‘relationships’ I don’t just mean romantic ones. We live in a world were we still hold romantic companionships higher than those of the platonic nature. But in my twenty-five years on this planet, I can tell you, my most meaningful relationships in life were those platonic ones.
Being twenty-five, most of my friends I have known for at least five years. My closest friends I have known longer. My former best friend and I were friends for an entire decade. An entire decade of friendship which had its share of ups and downs. But ultimately, the friendship faded away earlier this year and I learned so much through our completion of friendship. I use the word completion now in regards to our friendship because it didn’t end terribly. There was no dramatic fight. There was no angry texts or words we regret saying to each other. It just ended. And that was it.
What I learned from losing my ride or die was: you never really know what hand life is going to deal to you.
When the ending was still fresh, I felt a lot of pain and dolefulness. I mean, I lost the person who knew me almost entirely. She knew my all secrets and she was there for all the big changes of my life at the time. We grew together but, in the end, we grew apart. And that’s the way the universe works, kids.
When I was younger, I thought that all my friends and I should have the same type of friendship. I thought all my romantic partners would be essentially the same, meaning each relationship would mirror the last. But that’s not how people work. This type of thinking is actually what has caused me to end so many perfectly, good relationships. All because I expected everyone to be my best friend. I expected too much out of people. I didn’t realize some people are just meant to be your co-worker. Some people are just meant to be someone you have fun with.
Not everyone needs to know the deepest parts of you. Some people just need a small piece of you.
Even you need that at times. Everyone you meet is completely different and this is magical. You will get to experience different types of friendships and relationships in your life and you should. Some people are extremely lucky and meet their lifelong partner at sixteen. And then people like me, we don’t get to have this, which is fine. I now realize “forever” isn’t in the cards for me. The universe and whomever created it have different plans for my life.
When my former best friend and I stopped talking I went through a crisis. The crisis was realizing “forever” isn’t always a thing and people can change their mind. I can change my mind. I’m not saying I won’t meet some guy and end up spending the rest of my life with him. I’m not saying I won’t find another best friend who is in my life until the day I die. What I am saying is: I am now perfectly fine with the way relationships can fade away now. I used to believe the only way a relationship could end was in a destructive way. Now, I don’t believe in this anymore, which is a breakthrough.
Things can end without being catastrophic. People can leave you and you don’t have to feel any animosity towards them. At the end of the day, I am the person who will always welcome back people into my life. Sure, others will think this isn’t the smartest thing in the world but I believe people do change. Yes, most don’t. But some do.