God, it feels like I’ve been praying about this forever. I believe You put this dream in my heart, and I am trying so hard to move in that direction. I try to keep a positive attitude, even when it seems like there’s not much to be positive about. In my humanness, it feels like this is taking forever and I’m not going to make it. Today, the weight of the wait feels extraordinarily heavy, and I am struggling.
I just want to know: When?
I’ve been scanning the horizon, searching for a sign that says my breakthrough has come at last. Yet, another sun sets and I am no closer to my goals than I was the day before. Sometimes it feels like I’m on a giant hamster wheel and I’m running, running, running, but getting nowhere. I’m exhausted and frustrated, and if I’m being completely honest, I would like to just throw in the towel and walk away. I can’t do that either, though, because of that nagging voice in the back of my head that whispers, “What if you’re closer than you think? What if tomorrow is your day?” Sometimes I can’t tell if that’s You encouraging me or just my delusions of grandeur that I can’t seem to part with.
I need Your help. Badly.
If this is You, if this dream You’ve given me is truly my life’s purpose, then I will soldier on and keep going. I just can’t do it by myself. Help me to wait well. Help me to remember all those times You’ve made a way out of no way. Help my soul to see what my eyes cannot, to hold onto the vision You’ve given me when my heart is clouded with doubt and anxiety. Lend me your strength to get up again just one more time, one more round, one more day.
I trust You like no other. If I didn’t, I would never have made it this far. Remind me that I can do anything because You are with me, that I’m never alone, even when the way seems congested with endless delays and frustrating setbacks. I know Your plans for me are so much bigger than my plans for myself, but there are days when that’s hard to imagine.
My dreams are in Your hands, God. Everything I have is yours, including my life’s work. Don’t let me leave this world without reaching my full potential. Finish the work You started in me and help me realize my destiny. If You won’t make the wait shorter, please make it easier to bear.
My hope, as always, is in You.