1. Making eye contact with a boy and thinking “Could he be The One?!” … And then thinking the same thing about the next boy who crosses your path.
2. Doing the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” with your roommates instead of a boy. Screw the idea of The One. Real love is right here in this stinky dorm room.
3. Setting alarms for odd increments of nap time, such as 23 minutes in the middle of the day.
4. Changing your major three times in one year through a whirlwind of soul-searching, and realizing that you, as a high school senior, had no idea what your true passions were.
5. Walking. Everywhere. And loving every second of it.
6. Sweating. All the time. And hating every second of it.
7. Learning to be okay in your own company while eating Chick-fil-A by yourself because timing with your friends doesn’t always match up.
8. Going to a common area to get a fudge brownie at 9 p.m. and coming across eight people playing Cards Against Humanity and four others watching the Republican debate.
9. Having Sex and the City on for ambiance while you do homework.
10. Deleting and reinstalling Tinder repeatedly in a vicious cycle.
11. Trying to define your stance on dating apps and coming to terms with the fact that you either hate to love or love to hate them.
12. Eating a meal at 3 p.m. of leftover kung pao chicken, tater tots, and pita chips & hummus.
13. Letting the guilt of all of that set in.
14. Doing 7-minute ab routines on your wooden bedroom floor in an attempt to erase the guilt.
15. It doesn’t really work. But hey, you can’t win ‘em all.
16. Eating an entire Jimmy John’s sub at 2:37 a.m. after a Wednesday night out.
17. More guilt.
18. Also, wondering how you manage to function when weekends apparently begin on Wednesday nights.
19. Never ceasing to drink cheap alcohol — even when it’s been proven to make you puke many times before.
20. Day-drinking, collapsing on your bedroom floor, and somehow managing to order and finish an entire Chinese takeout lo mein.
21. Probably puking later on that night.
22. Wondering how you manage to function based on your questionable food and drink consumption that is really screwing with your intestinal health.
23. Knowing that peeing in a bush with an intoxicated, prospective friend is the friendship equivalent of “defining the relationship” and the beginning of many drunken adventures together.
24. Making out with a boy in a bar next to your new best friend who’s doing the same thing.
25. Reading your friend’s drunk texts the morning after a night out and crying of laughter as you try to decipher them.
26. Looking over last night’s pictures and wondering why you thought any of your poses were a good idea.
27. Running into bar-make out-boy at the library the next day and forgetting how to speak words. It turns out he was a former “The One” and you were not prepared to face this fact.
28. Asking yourself, after your fail at social interaction, if this boy could still be “The One.”
29. Going through the motions of a typical weekday, including waking up at 6:30 a.m. for a class that you regret everything about, coming back to your place to eat leftover pizza for lunch, going to a lecture set up by the administration of your major so you can plan the next three years of your life, sitting for five minutes and asking for divine strength to get you through the remainder of the day, sitting through an hour of class, coming back home to eat sour cream & onion chips, Cheetos, and M&M cookies, taking an 18-minute nap, driving 45 minutes away with friends to volunteer at Family Math Night at a local elementary school, and having a philosophical discussion with your roommates before bed.
And you went to a frat party the night before.
30. Laughing way too hard as you’re cozied up in bed and watching The Office, thankful that your only priority in this moment is to finally relax.
31. Falling asleep knowing the grind will continue tomorrow, and you won’t cease to love every second of it.